So here is the story of me going home after the wedding:
The party was at a place called Ängby Slott which is west-north-west part of stockholm which is an area I’ve been in twice in my entire life. But being the practical “thinking of everything” person I am I had checked “how to get home” and as always taxi rules but subway was an option. When they threw us out I tried getting a cab and failed, no cabs available in the vicinity, so tha hell with it, lets walk to the subway. First problem was I didn’t know what was north or south, no references at all. So I tossed a coin and went this way. And that turned out to be correct! Unfortunately the train was 20 minutes away so I sat down to wait. Normally in these circumstances I am very quiet and keep to myself and don’t bother anyone. Tonight was gonna be different!
At first there was this elderly lady that sat down next to me. The entire hall was empty, she had like 40 seats to chose from but she sat down next to me cause I “seemed like a nice man”, and then she got to talking how the youth of today was so rude and disrespectful that if she sat alone somewhere some kids would see her as easy target. So we sat there, trashing todays youth, talking about stuff and how lovely weddings are, pretty nice chat. Even though I was pretty wasted.
And then onto the subway at Åkeshov going all the way down to Hagsätra which is 26 stations!! At Brommaplan a young couple boarded that was in a very heated discussion about Lars Brandeby vs. Micke Persbrandt as best actor and I joined in on that conversation. I have no idea why but I joined in and before they left on Odenplan we’d all agreed Micke won. On the central station a woman with a … distinguishable hat sat down next to me and on the nexts seats a bunch of these teenboppers sat down, very loud obnoxious disrespectful kids and one of them thought it was a good idea to always spit on the floor, which you really don’t do on the subway. But I minded my own business. But the woman next to me politely asked him to stop and he started up with “you really think I care what some ugly chick with a stupid hat say!? Shut up, as if I care!” and on his second round of that speech I got up and grabbed him as hard as I could and shoved up against the wall and got right up in his face and did the worst bad boy one-liner impression I could. The guy got shitscared and was desperately looking for someone to help him but everyone was as annoyed with him as I was. So after standing like that for 2 minutes he was almost ready to cry and I let him go and he jumped off at the next station and I went back to my seat and pretended it was raining, wondering if that was a good thing I did or not. I have no idea what the woman next to me thought cause I never really saw her that well and she went off a few stations after.
Then at Globen the next funny bunch came in – 5 20 something kids that had been out partying for the 5th day in a row and we ended up with a new product – “post-party bag” containing everything you need after any party. It was everything from plastic puke bag to flashlight and even a compass (see earlier that evening). It was a hilarious discussion where my years of experience came in handy and we even named the product but I have no idea what, but it was fun! Then I ended up in Hagsätra and walked a mile or so to the busstop and waited for the buss and that’s when I did it again. Yeap, I yanked up my phone to start texting my friends! Everything from inappropriate perverted jokes with the groom to “don’t you dare get married!” jokes with my bestest buddy. And then buss home, walked another mile to my apartment, sent off the last few messages and hit the bed with a big fat smile on my face!
And how long did that all take me? Well we were thrown out at 01:30. And that last text message went out at 03:56. That’s 2 hours 26 minutes for what would otherwise have been a max 30 minute taxi ride. But in all fairness I would never have had those four very funny experiences had I gone in a cab hom so I am very happy I didn’t. Who knew the subway could be that fun? Who knew I could be that conversational!!
Update: I remembered the name as I was walking around in the christmas shopping chaos – “Party Pose”… which kinda only works in swedish (intoxicated at 4 am, “Pose” and “Påse” do sound alike!)… man that was fun at the time.
stoff
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