So almost 6 months after we first met and had our 3 week thing, we finally met up at a party again. Last time we saw each other I was in a bad phase and didn’t really make an effort or anything and we both agreed it wasn’t working and split with a hug. And since then I’ve been very curious what would happened when we met again at some party since it was bound to happen and yesterday was that day. There was housewarming party and I showed up with pretty clear intention of trying to get that thing between us going. Abd within the hour it was warming up and by midnight it was all good and looked like mission accomplished. But she was still sending me mixed messages and by 2 I don’t think even she knew what she wanted so I pushed it by saying “I’m going home”. And after a bit of fuss in the hallway where we both realised this was getting way complicated she threw me out. Not in a kind, gentle “please leave”, but “get out!”. After wandering around lost in thought I found a cab, went home and was completely devastated by this. Totally!
I’ve been going through it all in my head what I said, should’ve said and shouldn’t have said and I honestly don’t know what happened. How could we go from sweet cuddling to her throwing me out? The only reason she stated which was that I’m too nice of a guy for her and she’d end up hurting me was BS since that’s exactly what she did. I don’t think I’ve ever been hurt as bad as I was by this. Not even when that chick at work wrote that pissed of mail did I get _this_ hurt. Now I have no idea what to do next, try to call her again and see if she knows what she wants yet or what tha hell is going on. ’cause there’s no doubt what I want, even after getting this burnt.
And today I was a complete wreck as well. It was suppose to be a happy day and celebrate my fathers birthday but I really put a damper on that mood.
stoff
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