stoff
This weekend I set a new standard in great timing. Unfortunately, I also set a new standard for bad timing 🙁
It all started on friday evening when I got a little stomach ache. Nothing serious, or so I thought. Then I woke up on saturday morning feeling even worse. But a Neurofen or two took the pain away so I could enjoy the saturday morning Formula 1 practice. After that my sis calls me up and tells me to get my ass down to my parent’s place in Ösmo (about a 40 minute drive) because they had to see the F1 qualifying. Trying to live up to my “never say no to women”-rule I obliged, and after my brother Jocke was done playing his round of Warcraft III on the ‘net I averaged 120 kph going there and sat down in their soffa and turned on the TV exactly when the pit exit light turned green. Talk about excellent timing!
But then my stomach ache started up again and I slept a little, hoping that’d help. No such luck, so by Saturday evening I had to go home and tried to go to sleep again. Sunday morning comes and I can’t even sit up. I managed to walk the few meters from my bed to my TV soffa and from the soffa to my cola fridge, other than that I’ve spent all this day tucked down in front of the TV.
| 6:10 | : | My alarm clock starts beeping followed by a THUMP as my hand come crashing down. |
| 6:12 | : | My cell phones alarm clock goes off which actually wakes me up. |
| 6:20 | : | I step into the shower. |
| 6:27 | : | I crawl back into bed. |
| 6:30 | : | I listen to the news. |
| 6:39 | : | I put my clothes on. |
| 6:42 | : | I shave. |
| 6:44 | : | I brush my teeth. |
| 6:46 | : | I put on some aftershave, deo and spray while thinking about the ozone layer. |
| 6:47 | : | I arm myself with wallet, keys, security card, coins (for the coke machine), buss card, food stamps, cell phone, sunglasses and the CD I burnt the night before. |
| 6:49 | : | I turn off all lights, lock my door and start walking to either the train station or my car. |
I bet that’s more than you wanted to know about me, huh?
Next big party-track that’ll top the charts will be Alexia’s “Don’t you know”. Time will prove me right. Again.
Hm, about this “women fearing strange guys”-thing, it reminds me of a problem that we guys have. Imagine this scenario that have happened to me alot ; coming home late, say around 11, and walking home from the train station. Now I take the scenic route home, it’s a bit longer but I’m the “smell the flowers”-kinda guy. And 15-20 meters ahead of you is a woman also walking home, alone. What do you, as a guy , do ? The women I’ve heard answer that says “walk past her, then she won’t see you as a threat”. But how do you do that without scaring her? I mean, if you all of a sudden start walking faster she’ll grab the mace! And I can’t walk slower to increase the distance, ’cause… well, women’s normal walk-pace is my slow-pace. If I’d walk any slower I’d be standing still, and we’re back to the mace. It’s a very uncomfortable scenario. For both of us I guess 🙁
And just when I thought I was the most charming man on the planet I get reality thrown in my face! As I was driving home from my parents place out on the countryside where the busses only goes once every two hours I saw a woman standing in the middle of nowhere waiting for the bus. Since I had been driving that road for a while and hadn’t seen any bus, I thought she might have just missed it and needed a ride or something. It turns out that she had indeed missed it (but she was hoping it was running late), and the next bus wasn’t due for another two hours. So I asked if she wanted a lift to catch up with the bus which she did, but she did not wanna get into a car with a stranger, especially not a single 100-kilo 27 year-old. And who can blame her? I probably would’ve reacted the same way if I’d been a woman. But I felt really uncomfortable just leaving her standing in the middle of nowhere like that, I just hope she lived around there so she had somewhere to go.
That’s another example how a few bad men can ruin it for the rest of us.
So my mother thinks I should stop using “So” to start these updates. But you know, it’s like everyone has a word or expression they use abnormally much. Like a F1 commentator uses “precisely” on average 1.21 times per lap, and Juan Pablo Montoya uses “you know”, and Schumacher “to be honest” and Natalie Portman “like” and so on. So I use “so”, so sue me 🙂
And Will Smith and Wycleaf Jean are in town. And boy do we know it, it’s been hyped to the max in the media. Are they really so bored they have to write what these two guys had for breakfast? It’s like a couple of weeks ago when the biggest headline was that princess Madeleine was finally old enough to buy her own alcohol. I can really see that happening, Madeleine buying her own alcohol. Exactly how would that go? In case you didn’t know, we have government control on alcohol so we have a special chain of stores that only sells alcohol, noone else is allowed to. You can’t stop at a 7-11 and buy anything stronger than 3.5%. And these places tends to get very overcrowded, especially around the holidays. So yeah, I can really see Madeleine waiting in line to buy her alcohol. And then being asked about her age and ID card to prove it. As if …
(now all the smart readers are thinking “how can you bash the media for talking about it when you’re just as bad”. Well, I don’t get the hundreds of thousands of hits everyday or sell a million issues! They should have something better to cover than that!)
So have I learnt to appreciate life on another level now after my car accident?… Not really. Probably because I never felt like my health was in danger, although now that I’ve gone over it a few times I realise it may very well have ended alot worse than it did. But what I do appreciate on another level know is the obligatory skid training we have here in Sweden. A 4 hour course in which you learn what it’s like to lose control of a car. ‘Cause without that training I’m pretty sure I would’ve reacted in the normal way by trying to make that turn instead of aiming for the softest place to crash.
I’ve also learnt to appreciate helpful strangers, and hope to become one too some day 🙂
So “V” started on swedish TV last night. I love that TV series. It’s got everything good sci-fi should have – good entertainment, good premise, good characters, good actors, good dialogue, good effects (for the era) and something this series has plenty of – historical references. Watch the series and replace all the times they say “scientists” with “jewish” and you’ll find it pretty scary!
It could almost pass as a historical documentation of the rise of the Third Reich, the operation of the French resistance and the persecusion of jews. I think Kenneth Johnson hit the mark with that show. Too bad it didn’t work out in the long run 🙁
Btw, a question of human behaviour ; my sense of humor is pretty much based on sarcasm, irony and just mean quick one-liners. That’s usually ok because most people can take it. Yesterday I found someone who couldn’t. This person had sent over his new website he wanted me to put up for him and he asked me again yesterday to put it up, totally oblivious about my adventures behind the wheel. So I said “So what if I crashed my car last night, as long as I put up your homepage everything will be fine”. Any normal person would’ve replied something like “oh, sorry, I didn’t know. Are you ok?”. But not him. His reply was 33 capital letters screaming “how tha hell could I’ve known!?” and then a comment that I’m always “so f*cking rude!”. So how could he have known? Well my sister found out by reading this space. So had the guy that I called friday morning to ask for a vacation day. So how does this person react to the suggestion of reading my homepage? 43 more capital letters and another curse was the reply.
If you’ve followed this diary-thing a while you should know who in my circle of friends has a real hard time taking criticism.
So I finally did it – had a big accident with my car. I’m not surprised, I’ve had it coming for as long as I’ve been driving! I was at a party in Åkersberga, north of Stockholm. I stayed sober because I knew I was driving home. So at about 11 pm. I get into my car and start to drive home. Come to a runabout, turn into the runabout and just at the apex I lose all grip and just go straight forward into a 6 feet deep ditch and just go straight on for a good 40 feet until I come to a stop, avoiding everything man-made in the process. First a nice woman stops to see that I’m ok, then Markus and his future wife Linda drives by and doesn’t believe what they’re seeing but stops to see if I’m ok and what can be done. We look at the mess and I’m just thinking “shit, is my car ok?” while they’re thinking “shit, is Kris ok?”. Fortunately the answer is yes to both of them. Except a muddy car and a little unbalanced wheel everything is ok! I can blame it on bad grip (it had been raining), or bad tyres (I’ve always said they have terrible grip!) but the idiotic truth is that had I gone a bit slower I’d come home 1 minute later and made the curve.
The nicest surprise was a bunch of guys that drove by, saw that something was wrong, stopped, took a look at it and said “this is do-able” So in reverse they drove my car out of the ditch, which turned out to be a muddy little water stream. I was shaking a little so I wasn’t really in any condition to drive backwards. So a huge thanx to these guys I’d never seen before and probably never will – saved my day!
Well happy birthday to the United States of America. About 220 years old and they’re running the world, bombing Afghanistan, makes the stockmarkets crash , arming their citizens to the teeth, demanding the palistinian leader to be replaced , killing their own citizens in the name of justice and demanding that their soldiers get immunity from the first ever international court for warcrimes. Way to go 🙂
One of my favorite tracks at the moments is the “Star of ’45” medley with alot of 60′ and 70’s songs all bunched up into one. And the lyrics for one of them, some anti-Vietnam war song I suppose, is very applicable to Bush – “you say you don’t believe in war, well what’s that gun your touting?”
Busy, busy, busy. So much going on now, most of it fun.
So I was called as an expert in sci-fi movies and later Star Trek during the sci-fi convent here. And a very interesting thing happened. During the first discussion, “100 years of sci-fi” the conclusion we all reached was that sci-fi movies were alot better in the old days because they went more for good story than eye-candy (space battles, effects and whatnot). Back when they were deep and explored mankind instead of exploring the bounderies of CGI. Kinda frightening how close that conclusion is to my recent bashing of the music industry :).
The general consensus was that it all started going to hell after “Alien” and “Star Wars”. But there is hope now that sci-fi is once again going deep and making you think – A.I and Minority Report are two recent examples. (although I didn’t really like A.I)
In the second debate we were suppose to have a little battle over which sci-fi universe (Star Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars, Alien…) was the best one. I was the voice for Star Trek. And I believe I was the moral victor because my initial statement was “Since I’m a trekker I shouldn’t be here, because the point of Star Trek is learning to respect other people and their opinions so I can’t really tell anyone that they’re wrong since in the Star Trek spirit no opinion can be wrong”. Hehe, tell that to any Babylon 5 freak who always sends in his navy of Whitestars…
I’m writing this at 2:10 am on Saturday morning. I just got home from a preview screening of “Minority Report”. I’m not that big a fan of Spielbergs. He is too much up and down, great movies like “Schindler’s List” and then rock bottom movies like “Hook”. Same goes for Tom Crooze. And I had read a couple of reviews, most critics didn’t like. But what do they know – it rocked! One of Spielbergs greatest movies, right up there with “E.T” and “Schindler’s List”. It made one think in so many levels, and a future society I’m not sure I’d be willing to be apart of. And of course, our swedish actor Peter Stormare who actually got to speak swedish and his assistant sang the swedish folk song about the small frogs – unbelievable! 🙂
One thing I liked was that Spielberg is going a little ‘DePalma’ with shooting sequences way more complicated than they need to be. Like the one whith the spiders crawling and you see everything from above in a cut-out sort of way – so inspired from “Snake Eyes”, and really nicely done. But what was down right beautifully filmed was the scene when Tom hugs the girl in the lobby and he’s facing one way and she the other while they have a conversation… that was just beautifully filmed and the lighting was excellent!!
You should definitely go and see it! Credit goes to swedish Fox for fixing the preview. And I usually don’t like Fox for all the trouble they’re giving us at NP.com!
Btw, if you’re in Stockholm you should check out the sci-fi congress in Kulturhuset. I’m gonna be in the panel of experts for two sessions, one on Saturday at 13:00 (“100 Years of Sci-fi”) then one on Sunday at 12:00 (“Sci-fi Wars”).
Ok, everybody grab onto something because what I’m about to admit will send shockwaves all over the world : I saw the video to the Spears cover of “I Love Rock and Roll”. And liked it. Seriously, the video was OK. Although it was zooming in on her belly abit much, it was still a step in the right direction! And she definitely knew how to mount that bike 🙂 The song I still have a problem with though. They’ve toned down the volume to the music too much. In the original you could feel the drumbeats and feel the guitar ripping away. But in this you can barely hear it. So music-wise I still prefer the original, but video-wise the new is better. Which is the point I’ve been making all along – music is getting worse and worse because they are going further and further away from making good music to putting on a good show.
Do you know what we’ve never seen? James Bond having problems parking his car or getting a ticket! Seriously, I was driving out to a customer to install an internet router, and my biggest worry was where to park the car. That’s when it hit me that we’ve never seen James Bond have that kind of trouble. I’ve never seen him pay for parking or anything! And that proves just how much I think about the little practical things that become big problems if I hadn’t been one step ahead.
You must be thinking “you are one lazy dude, only updating twice during a 8 day vacation!”. Not true! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much to do during a vacation as I did last week! The time just flew past me like Marilyn Manson from a Britney Spears concert! And every little minute of free time I could find went into studying for my Novell 5.1 Administration certification exam I had this morning. So I hardly feel relaxed and re-energized after this vacation. But I only have myself to blame I guess.
And speaking of Britney Spears – I heard she “loves rock’n’roll”. Then why is she in the pop-genre? The difference is huge, and I don’t think she’d cut it in rock’n’roll. Although that song may be one of her best ones. Too bad it’s a cover.
Oh yeah, I passed that test by the way. So what does that mean? It means that I have a paper that says “this guy passed a test so he should kinda know Novell Netware 5.1”. I don’t know any more, or less, about Novell than I did two weeks ago though.
Last saturday we had a little party here at my parents house. They’re away for a week and I’m in charge, so naturally there’ll be a party! Anyway, it was going to be a normal BBQ with the usual crew (AC, her hubby Paul and my “brother” Jocke) but on this special occasion, two women I’ve known since I was five came – Lina and Helena. Lina I’ve seen and talked to a little now and then, but Helena have been living a little all over so I haven’t really talked to her for over 10 years (not counting the occasional “hello”s). And it was good catching up a little with her.
See, I live my life after my own set of “Rules of Conduct” to ensure that if I’d die, noone will have anything bad to say about me. And I can count the people who may have something bad to say about me on one hand. And now there is one less! Because the last time we “talked” it was during my teens when I had done some really stupid things, so I’ve always felt that when we lost contact it was on a bad note. But now I think I’m redeemed.
And on a very, very happy note – Helena’s boyfriend (yeap, all good ones are still taken) name is Timothy, but called Tim or… TIMMYYYY!… and I started laughing when I heard her say that and I had to explain that I’m a South Park-fan and that’s why TIMMYYY is pretty funny, and guess what she counters with? She was one of the dancers performing the “BLAME CANADA!” number during the 2000 Oscars! DUDE!
Eminem is also one of those artists who’s music I don’t like and who’s opinions I don’t agree with, but still have respect for because how he’s doing his thing no matter what anybody says. He also shares my dislike for the product named Britney Spears.
But then he goes and gay-bashed MOBY!?
Moby, you can get stomped by Obie, you 36 year old bald headed fag, blow me. You don’t know me, you’re too old, let go, its over, nobody listens to techno.
I don’t know for a fact Moby isn’t gay (although he did make out with Natalie Portman so I guess not). And Moby makes great music and preaches “peace, love and understanding” (he kinda proved that with his response in own journal) so what’s Eminem’s problem? So now I don’t like his music, his opinions or him.
So yesterday I re-discovered what may very well have been the best musical duo ever – Bill Drummond and Jimi Cauty, aka “Kopyright Liberation Front”. Most known as the KLF, or JAMS. Actually they have alot of aka’s. Back in the early 90’s they were extremely popular and I loved them, but the other day I heard “3 am Eternal” again and it’s still damn good. So I downloaded all the good old songs (love it when Whitney Houston joins the JAMS!). They pretty much invented illegal sampling/ripping 🙂
Their music is still pretty awesome, very creative videos as well, and the only thing I have against them is the fact that they don’t make any new music and haven’t since May 5th ’92 and won’t release any more “until peace reigned around the world”. Great goal ofcourse, but they made too good music just to quit like that 🙁
Did you see the MTV Movie Awards? Natalie was presenting an award so more or less had to see it. This is one of the few award shows I still have a little bit of respect for! Anyway, Seann William Scott won an award (for best kiss with Jason Biggs… don’t ask!), and in his acceptance speech he said something like “five years ago, I was working in a zoo, now look at me!”.
And that got me thinking – just how much in life is left to chance. Everything from having the good parents, the right genetic makeup/DNA, sibblings, teachers in school, job oppurtunities, meeting the right one and to not be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Just how much of that can you actually control yourself? Not a lot….