Well that was fun while it lasted. I’m now single again 🙂
The story of a 7 day romance
A friend of mine set us up. He knew and what I liked in a woman, and his girlfriend knew this girl so they set it up.
First date, Saturday : Nice romantic dinner in a little quiet Italien restaurant. Everything went great. We had a really good time and liked each other. But it didn’t go all the way, although I did accompany her home, but that was it. We did agree to spend New Years Eve together so I called off my prior plans to party with some friends.
Second date, Tuesday : We decided it was best to go home to her since I can’t cook and my place is a mess. Once again a very nice romantic dinner followed, and then alot of talking, watching fireworks, then proceeding to bed and afterwards continued talking. (for once, I had no problem staying awake) Everything was peachy.
Third-kinda date, Wednesday : This was “kinda” third, but not really since it was just a continuation from Tuesday. We eventually got out of bed and went into Stockholm to see “Lord of the Rings”. Three hours in a 10% full cinema. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t like it, I was only semi-watching it. We kissed off at the trainstation and agreed to spend this weekend together. No specifics, just “weekend”.
Fourth date, Friday : Little did I know “weekend” meant comming home to my place at 8 on friday evening! I barely had time to clean up my apartment. Anyway, I did manage to fix a dinner and we sat in my soffa talking the night away while watching “Friends” on DVD. That’s when it started going bad! She noticed my pictures of Jeri Ryan, Natalie Portman and Helen Hunt on my wall, and she…
STOP! “Don’t tell me you left your pics of beautiful women hanging on the wall!?” Indeed I did! First of all, she had a poster of a semi-naked Marcus Shenkenberg (swedish modell) on her wall. And B – she had a pic of a topless Brad Pitt as her background on her computer. And finally, I didn’t have time since she just popped in unannounced.
Anyway, she, based on those and some of my DVD’s, thought I was a little fixed on beautiful women. I tried to turn that around to a compliment, no luck. Then we had a serious debate about it, but she still wasn’t totally convinced. Night proceeded great and I feel asleep spooning her. Isn’t that nice?
Fifth-kinda date, Saturday : Again, it was a continuation so not really “fifth”. She got up earlier than me (big shock, huh?) and started surfing around the web on my computer which is…
STOP! “Don’t tell me you left your computer on and logged in giving her access to all files on your computers!?” I indeed did. I didn’t think she would surf around or check around my local network. She did surf some, but didn’t check around my local network, so no worries there. And there’s nothing on any of my computers I can’t defend having there!
So, anyway!! My computer is constantly connected to the web, with ICQ always running and my mailer checking mail once every minute and I also have a “To-do-list” in the background. As she was surfing she noticed I had a lot of bookmarks in my browser pointing to Natalie Portman pages. And then she intercepted a couple ICQ messages about NataliePortman.com and my swedish Natalie site. And when my mailer get’s a mail it kinda lites up so she was curious what that flying bat was about and clicked it and saw (yes, I believe this was unintentional!) some mails about a new chat project on NataliePortman.com and another mail about redoing an image-archive page.
She closed it down and when she closed it down my “To do list” was just behind it and that was filled with NataliePortman.com things. She went to shower and that’s when I woke up, checked my mail and started writing a couple of SHTML-pages on this chat-project. That’s when she came in here, saw what I was doing and right away freaked how much work I actually put into these pages and projects. “About 5-10 hours per week, depending on how much there is to do” (sometimes more for special projects). So again we had a debate that was going badly for both of us, and when she was beginning to say “I’m not comfortable having a boyfriend who spends this much time working (non-profit) on a page dedicated to this girl, that you also have a (signed) picture of on your wall and…”
That’s when I stopped her because I saw exactly where she was going and told her “Don’t give me the ultimatum to give up a part of my life, you’ll loose. We haven’t reached that stage in our relationship yet!”.
And thus, I’m single again. So why am I writing this here, although I’ve said once I’d not bother you guys with my romantical life?
Because I need your advice on this!
First of all, if I was in a serious relationship I would on my own free will give up this specific part of my life. For example, I freely called off my 3-months old plans to spend New Years with some friends and spend it with her! And I know that a big part of a relationship is making compromises. And I’m all for that, as a relationship goes on! Not after 7 days, that’s just too early for her to make demands like that. Isn’t it ?
I could ofcourse have saved this relationship by doing things like taking down the pictures of women on my wall, limiting the access on my computer when I’m not here, and say “sorry, you’re right, I’ll mail the guys at NP.com and tell them I quit”. I could have done that. But then it wouldn’t be me! She wouldn’t be dating me anymore! She would be dating another Kris, the Kris who’s already showed her who’s the boss and constantly worry about offending his new girlfriend.
So what do you think? Am I stupid for not changing the way I am to please a woman I’ve just started dating? Does she have the right to demand that of me already? Am I just idiotic and immature for still having beautiful pictures of women on my wall? (another comment on those pictures – they are beautiful and stylish, not at all sexy!) And was she fair starting this discussion when she just got out of the shower only wearing a towel when she knows this is a turn-on for me?!
I just want to make this last point very clear – I did not give this woman up for any fantasy or obsession involving Natalie Portman! She could have asked me to give up Formula 1, same result. She could have asked me to give up “Star Trek”, wearing black or singing in the shower, it would have ended the same way.
Please send in any comments or advice you may have on this, I could really use it!
stoff
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