Things are going well. I had one of my most uber “this is life as it should be!” moments on sunday as I was sitting in Hagaparken, Helena in my arms, sun in my face and the lingering chocolate taste, it was just all too good to be true. But it was true… I’m still positive somewhere, sometime when I least expect it someone will jump out and say “Smile! ‘Cause you’re on candid camera!”. But until then, I’ll play along 🙂
And last friday I managed to cook us a pretty damn good dinner, and waffles too… I’m starting to know my way around my kitchen that I’ve had for 9 years without using.
Things are going great 🙂
I’ve spend 2 whole days with my girlfriend now which I was kinda nervous about. Not only because it was up to me to cook the dinner on thursday and then chose movies and restaurant for friday (oh the preassure) but because it’s a totally different thing from “just coming over to her place and enjoy the evening, fall asleep spooning and waking up and going to work” and actually spend an entire day together! But it worked out great. I was hoping for fireworks but had to settle for “great”, which is still… well, great! This is going so well 🙂
And an F1 race today that Ferrari would’ve owned had a certain driver not been so zealous… but still a good race 🙂 Soon off to spend the afternoon with my family over a nice lunch. Things are good 🙂
Yesterday I did a pretty good post here. Atleast for me. But… well, it’s all about respecting the fact that it’s not really only about me. I have no problem exposing myself and give details to my friends and family and everyone else who finds their way here. But that’s me. I’m different. Not everyone is like that. So it’s all about respecting that. Sorry 🙂
Warning : Gonna be deep now!
Do you remember a movie called “American Beauty”? I loved it when I saw it but there was one part of it I didn’t get. The weird kid Ricky who filmed the bags. After this weekend I totally get that character. And here’s why!
On our second date we were gonna see a movie (her choice… Jumper!) and she was gonna fix dinner at her place before the movie. I get there and she’s the nice hostess and everything but I’m picking up signals saying “I so regret inviting you but I’m too nice to call it off and hoping you’re gonna get the hint soon!” but I’ve been wrong before so I’m going with it. Awesome dinner by the way! We go to the movie and after the movie it was so different signals and we walked and talked and ended up at Regeringshuset and at the water there we kinda got to it, physically. Then slow walk back to her car, talking and we agreed to go back to our respective beds and sleep on it. As if that was gonna happen, I couldn’t sleep at all. So at 2 am I checked my mail and there was .. probably the most amazing e-mail anyone have ever written to me. It was so good it hurt a bit. I had to get up and walk it off cause it hit me right in the gut. After getting the nerve to even try to reply to that we agreed she’d come over to my place on sunday for an inspection. Fortunately it was decently clean and I passed that inspection and after talking a bit, playing a bit PS3 we tried seeing a movie. We failed. And as I was lying there with this awesome woman, kissing her, holding her and looked into her eyes that’s when it hit me… the quote from Ricky in American Beauty.. “Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.” That’s pretty much how I felt at the time. Then we had to go back to her place to take care of her cats but it really didn’t matter where we were, as long as it was us two.
And breaking the speed record here.. I already have a toothbrush at her place now!
I guess I have to tell you how monday night went since so many people are wondering! But I’ll have to be nice since she, her family and her friends are watching me 🙂 And you know what? I’m totally fine with that cause I got those butterflies flying around… kinda makes me feel like a teenager again (good? bad? who knows!). We had set a time and place and I thought we’d sit down for a nice talk over warm coffee, but she wanted to go out walking. So we went out walking… and alot of it! Eventually wound up at my favorite cafe around the corner from where I work, then went out and walked some more. And ofcourse during all that walking we did alot of talking and giggling at stuff and people and… we just had a great time! That is until the train station when we were gonna say goodbye and I was faced with the always annoying question… do I hug her or go for the kiss? That’s usually a millisecond judgement call based on the moment. I’m not gonna tell you what I did, since it was the wrong choice. I don’t know why I always get it wrong, am I _that_ bad at reading women that I always end up hugging the ones that wants a kiss and kiss the ones that wanna settle for a hug? And why is it always up to the guys to decide that when we are always ready to go for the kiss?! Anyways, damage was mitigated (now there’s a word I never expected to use in a sentence) the day after when I sent her flowers with the note “Thank you for yesterday”. I thought that was a great idea, “never fails”. Except ofcourse if the woman in question is working with middleaged industrial workers who immediately assumed she had put out on the first date. That was funny as hell and she’s the cool chick that laughs that off!
So we’re seeing each other this Saturday again, dinner and a movie. Haven’t been on a movie-date since the first “Lord of the Rings” and the long time readers of this page will know how much I actually saw of that movie.
So how are things on your end? Personally I haven’t felt this good (mentally or physically) for a long long time! Except for my ear still ringing a bit I really have no problems at all! As a matter of fact… I got this weird mail from this woman on an internet site on tuesday and by the third mail we were getting very personal and now I just got off the phone with her after talking for about 90 minutes! Now everyone who knows me and knows what I’m like on the phone (short and to the point) gotta be amazed how I can keep a 90 minute conversation, but it wasn’t a problem. This is good! And we’re going out on monday 😉
Did anyone else react to that? It looked good when I wrote it but when I read it again it really didn’t make sense, cause really, what is “my own age”?… I dunno why but I still have trouble seeing myself as a grownup sometimes. Only two weeks ago I ate a “semla” for breakfast which is to any normal adult absurd, but I did it just cause I could and I wanted to…
Found a good comic that described that so very well – http://xkcd.com/150/ 🙂
I’ll admit I’ve been a self-righteous SOB in the past 2 weeks and realised that I’d actually downright lied right in the face to a woman the other day (which is so rare I actually have to point it out!) so I’m not too happy how this all turned out. So… closed. Moving on. Time to try to date someone my own age I guess 🙂
Also saw “Valley of Elah” the other day. Sorry but… boring 🙁 See Tommy Lee Jones that depressed for that long is … well depressing!
Yesterday I went out with a few former colleagues that I’d lost touch with over time. One of many conclusions of the evening was that in the right company it doesn’t really matter where you are. Cause we ended up at some very snobbish and posh place I’d never been to. But atleast they served beer. Kinda. They had 4 kinds. Then it was all drinks and whisky and stuff. And the crowd was just rediculous. But we found a comfy place to sit at and just started chatting away what’s beeing happening to everyone in the past years. Naturally the two guys I’ve not talked to in years had got married with children, good for them, but as always, a reminder to me 🙂
But it was really fun and a good break to the normal tuesday routine!
I woke up this morning at around 10 and turn on the laptop in bed and the first thing I get is a MSN saying “what tha f*ck are you doing in expressen!?” (one of the biggest newspaper in sweden)… so here’s the story…
A few weeks ago a friend sent over a link to a singlesblog in Expressen, one of their journalists talking about being single and dating and stuff. The reason I got the link was cause we had one thing in common – we had both been dumped because of our openness on our blogs. So a few e-mails back and forth and then it was Valentine’s day. She doesn’t like it, no single person does (ok, maybe me), but at around lunch I decided to do one of the now infamous “Crazy-stoffs” and bought some flowers and got into a cab and delivered it myself. She was way way happy about it 🙂
So in return she listed me as the “single of the week” today 🙂 I don’t know if that’s cool or not but I thought it was hilarious!! I absolutely don’t expect a response (especially considering her audience being male) but it was just a hilarious thing and it really made my week so thanks 🙂
I like Valentine’s day, but not for the reason’s you’d think. I’m hopelessly single so this bs with one day per year being cute and cuddly and all that, whatever makes people happy I guess, but I like it ’cause it’s the birthday of NataliePortman.com! We’re up to 8 years now and even though I hardly do any work there anymore it’s still amazing how a non-profit fan driven website like that can still be up and running!! And even though I hate “big corporations” I gotta give credit to google for their AdSense programme, would never have afforded it otherwise!
And I made atleast one woman’s valentines alot happier, and making other people makes me happy 🙂
Here I am at work with the worst case of what we in sweden call “i-lands problem”, a small little problem that’s so irrelevant and would in any third world country be laughed at for having… where to lunch! That’s the topic for about a 30 minute conversation here… we just couldn’t come up with a good place to eat lunch. Now that’s a pretty good indicator at how much issues I have atm.
The more I date and the more I watch “House” the more I’m certain I’m totally gonna end up so totally like him! Bitter, sarcastic hopelessly single man running around commenting on human behaviour. Guess it could be worse 🙂
I either date women who are too good for me or women who… well, I think “I could do better” which is a bunch of shallow bullshit, I know, I can’t help it. And I know most women think the same thing when they look at my pictures. It’s the way it is, no matter how nice and polite some people wanna be. I know it’s shallow .. but I am honest above all. And on the other side are all these women I would really go well with that are either already taken or I just don’t wanna risk the friendship ’cause of my hormones
Meanwhile, having fun as hell. And won scrabble again 🙂
Saw “The Brave One” yesterday. That’s a movie I have heard nothing about at all. I would probably not have seen it at all had it not been for the company I was in that wanted to see it because of Jodie Foster. I’m not that big of a fan of hers, only movies she’s bee in tha I love is “Taxi Driver” and “Contact”. And here she plays a happy every day normal New Yorker that goes through a dramatic thing and goes a bit bananas. I loved it! I don’t know if was her acting, her monologues, the story, I don’t know but I loved this movie! Definitely a must buy when it comes out on blueray!!
You know what I get really annoyed at with these free newspapers they give out to commuters in the morning so we have something to read? … they don’t fill out with any unnecessary information, just the facts, short and to the point, just the way I usually like it. But sometimes they miss out on the small things. Like this article from last week. It’s in swedish unfortunately. It’s an article about a new promising player in our national team. But they missed out on one small little bit of information. What sport are we talking about!? I happen to know it’s handball since I saw the game, but they never ever mention what sport we’re talking about! They just assume you know what they are talking about and if you don’t you’re not worthy to know. It’s pissing me off cause they do it ALOT!! How hard is it to type?
I missed doing an updated about it last week, been so busy. But I was really sad to hear Heath Ledger died. Ofc it’s always sad when people die, especially if they are younger than me…
But in his case I was really sad cause I liked the guy. I loved “A Knight’s Tale”, it’s one of my favorite movies. I still haven’t gotten around to see “Brokeback Mountain” because it really doesn’t seem to be my kind of movie, but all the other movies with the guy and the interviews/documentaries I’ve seen with him I really liked the guy. I hope it doesn’t make “A Knight’s Tale” sad to watch next time, that would such more.
One of my good abilities when driving is that I have pretty good check on my surroundings, I see things on the side and stuff way ahead of me. But on sunday when I was driving my sisters kids home as I was about to pass a lorry, a deer decided to try get passed the road. He failed. Completely. Smashed my car up big time and there really wasn’t much left of it either. So there goes all that money I would’ve spent on fun stuff to try to save up for a new car cause it’s really about time for me to buy a new one.
I’m just happy I kept my cool and kept the car on the road and didn’t run off or hit the lorry 🙂
One of the guys I met the other day is a former colleague that I really enjoyed working with, cause he was funny and I really respect the dude personally and professionally (and he’s a frequent visitor here too!). And he’s happily married and have a son now and he was telling us (3 hopelessly single guys) about the overwhelming emotion of having a child and the feeling that “this persons life means more to me than my own” surprised him. He’s not the first person to have said that, another friend described it as “it was the moment I stopped living for me and started living for my child”. Now I have absolutely no way of knowing how powerful that feeling is or anything but… I dunno what’s wrong with me cause I already feel those things, definitely not as intense but definitely more frequently! There aren’t that many people that I wouldn’t lay down my life for (and I hope to prove it one of these days)! And I’ve never felt that I live for me… maybe that’s cause I’ve always been on the service side of things and why I’m happiest when all my friends and family are doing good and I lose sleep over just one friend being miserable. But what do I know …
I may have inadvertently hurt this wonderful woman I dated late tuesday but I still feel like a good guy. Why? Because it made my weekend terrible. I couldn’t get over it and lost a lot of sleep thanks to it. The idea of a woman out there being hurt and sad because of me feels right down in the gut. So my priorities is still pretty nicely tuned. And that makes me feel a little bit better. If I had hurt a woman and not felt a thing, then I would be seriously worried.
And I guess this brings the counter up to two. Two women in my entire life that I have in some way hurt, both of them inadvertently. And the irony is that both of them was hurt because I knew too much. My resourcefulness and desire to know stuff doesn’t always serve me in a good way.
But now I sent off a very very nice letter to her explaining myself, begging for forgiveness and a second chance. I doubt she will since this thing came up before we even got started but as my wingman told me, “got nothing to lose”. Except my dignity but that’s worthless in comparison to another shot at this delightful woman.