So remember that “chapter closed” comment, it had one little reservation – “anything revolutionary happening”. Well it did. For the worse. And I got so pissed of at it I was jumping around my apartment trying to let it all out. I’m surprised my knuckles are still working. No, no details. It was just … bad.
But what is good is I wook up, wasn’t as pissed but still pretty much on the dark side but by the time I got to work I was smiling and feeling “life is good”. Moby’s “Everloving” and a long outside walk to work at lunchtime will do that to you. Life is just too short to stay mad at people and carry grudges.
That comment yesterday may need explanation and if she wants one I’ll be happy to, just not here. I have no problems laying out my whole life here, but this wasn’t only my life.
But anyway!… I don’t know how I do it. I am not good at counting exactly how much money I spend, where it goes and exactly how much I have left but on any given month I have a few hundred left on the 24th (since 25th is payday). I can’t remember the last time it didn’t work out, somehow. Well guess what – it’s the 24th and I have 30 swedish crowns left and 6 hours to payday! How’s that for planning?! .. ofc it did mean taking the car to work but I’m a problem solver!
I had written an update here after I got home from a party yesterday, but after thinking about it I realised it wasn’t appropriate. I’ll just sum it up with this – I’ve never wanted a girl in her undies less than I did yesterday. Those who gets it gets it, those who don’t don’t need to.
Back when I was in college (like 13 years ago) I started a pretty bad habbit. I went to bed way too late on saturday, which meant waking up at noon on sunday which resulted in not falling asleep until 2am on sunday -> monday and up at 6 to get to school (or now “work”) and this all resulted in me hating to get up on tuesday morning since my body desperately needed to catch up on the sleep. It was a huge problem back then cause I think I missed like 7-8 tuesday lectures, which was alot considering I was only going to lectures for 3 months until I went into “forget the questions someone give me another beer”-mode. And it still plagues me. This morning I was totally considering calling in sick ’cause I had less than 0 energy. But my allegiance to my friend and collegue Peter that would’ve had a terrible day alone was too great so I dragged my ass up and onto the train. And by the time I got to Stockholm it was all normal and now after an italian lunch I so wanna go back to bed again. Am I lazy or what!?
I know this is getting old. About 10 months old. But just one more…
After 2 1/2 weeks she decided to write me back on that, and she did it with something borderlining poetry which I didn’t expect. But being the deep guy I can be I totally got what she wrote. Totally, 100%. Unfortunately for us she had gotten her pronounces mixed up because everytime she said “you” she meant “me” and when she said “me” she meant “you”. Either that or she felt exactly what I felt but thought I felt the complete opposite. Misunderstandings sux. And I’m just too tired to sort it out, and for what?
Another weird twist was that in my response to her I kinda nailed my problem all along. I can’t say I loved her (we never got that far). I’m actually not sure just how much I wanted her. But what I do know is I loved how I felt when I was with her and I would give everything for feeling what I felt at that one perfect moment back in May.
But, with reservation for anything revolutionary happening, I can finally say…
Chapter closed.
There’s not alot happening at the moment. Life goes on, throws its curve balls but nothing major at all right now. Got a relaxing weekend which is probably gonna result in me seeing 300 twice, good thing it’s a good movie! And some sweet formula one from Belgium which is always offering some surprises. And I hit 94 kilos this morning which I guess means I might as well continue until 89 (why make it even?). And as expected when I tried to get deep and talk emotions with “her” she shut down. And we’re bound to meet up again at a party next weekend so looking forward to that… or am I… oh well, gonna enjoy this rainy Friday with a beefy burger and complete apathy towards everything!
I should have learned by now – never go into something with very high expectations. I went into this weekend with very high expectations and as always got disappointed. Friday night was ok but should’ve been better, it just never kicked off, it was just mediocre. Although saturday was completey up to expectations but sunday was just awful, terrible F1 race and very boring WoW raid and today I feel a bit disappointed. So let’s go into the next weekend with no expectations at all – even if it is a F1 weekend again!
One more weekend full of plans, all of it good!
Tonight – beer & dining with some friends to celebrate a guy’s 30th birthday. Tomorrow – after the f1 qualifying going back home to my parents for a day of fun with even more beer and my mothers special cooking. And on sunday going to O’Learys to enjoy the F1 race with even more beer and their special cooking, and ending it all with an evening of WoW. I wish every weekend could be like that!
Have fun!
The downside of loosing that weight is ofc now I gotta buy alot of new clothes. And the thing is I don’t know I’m quite done loosing it, wanna hit below 90 for the first time since I was 18. I know, it’s a far fetched goal but it’s something to aim at! But today I did something I haven’t done in a long, long time. 6 years to be exact. I bought a new leather jacket. I haven’t had to buy jackets for a long time since I got alot of free stuff when I worked as a consultant. But now I had to buy one and it set me back $200 but well worth it. That almost made up for my visit to the dentist earlier today that didn’t only set me back $100 but also showed I need overhaul in there and that’s always expensive…