This weekend we had a kick-off conference thing planned for the entire IT department at work, which is a total of 13 people. The last 2 events we’ve done haven’t been that successfull so my expecations weren’t high at all. And when we got there and there was a guy there that started talking that we were gonna learn to communicate better and that’d help us professionally as well as privately. My usual “yeah right, as if he knows my job, this ain’t gonna help me one bit”-persona kicked in but I am at least gonna hear him out. So I listened to him carefully and followed his arguments and stuff he said and… well, I don’t think he said much I didn’t already know and not alot that we couldn’t figure out for ourselves and most of it was “ofcourse”, but his way of presenting it and giving real life examples and adapting to exactly how it would help me every day thinking about those things and how to deal with people of different personalities and handling stuff like that, it was quite interesting. And it certainly will affect me professionally, no doubt about it. Personally?… probably not, but we’ll see. Overall a very good weekend. And I got to do a bit of cooking when we actually had to cook our own 4 course dinner which was pretty fun. Just too bad it sucks cooking dinner when you’re single 🙂
I tried avoiding the camera as well but one guy from our Gothenberg branch caught me and I’m pretty happy with the result! (yes, photoshopped slightly)
Actually don’t remember exactly where that quote is from, think it was some “Star Trek Deep Space Nine” episodes?
ANYWAY, let’s get a little bit less serious than yesterday. ‘Cause I’ve been catching up on some movies and wanna share some opinions:
Bourne Ultimatum : I likes this series of films. Alot. The first one was really good but the second one was a bit of a letdown with all the action but not much storywise. But this one made up for that. Highly recommended. And not alot of romance to spoil it either.
Resident Evil Extinction : Again, loved the first one but second one was just a bit too much flipped out for my liking and having two action chicks didn’t really work. But this one made up for that a bit. Not quite as good as the first but better than the 2nd.
28 Weeks Later : Sequel to 28 days later which I never really got what the point was. And same with this, didn’t really get the point. And except for that tilted helicopter scene just a big waste of time.
Knocked up : Surprisingly deep but not as funny as I hoped it would be. Still recommend it though. And good sex ed film for kids 🙂
The biggest news here in sweden is a rape-trial that just finished with the “guilty!” verdict. I don’t know the exact details but I’m getting a bit frustrated… Everone and their cousins are hurrying to say “this a good verdict since the court have finally ruled that a no is really a no”.
I’m sorry to burst bubbles but what kinda fucked up dating world did they live in, if any !?
I’ve lived the single’s life and somewhat active dating life for about a decade and no, it really isn’t. After having played all those mind games and walked the mindfields, trying to play mindreader and all those hoops that chicks today make you go through the one thing I’ve learnt is “no” is most of the time really a “try harder”. I was raised with the utmost respect for women so I’ve always accepted a no as a no which is why it totally backfires with all the girls that says something but really means something else.
Ofcourse there’s a big difference between dating and saying no when it comes to the actual sex part but it’s kinda the old story of the boy who cried wolf – after turning so many no’s into yes’ I can see how someone might not take that last no as a real no.
Ofcourse rape is always wrong and noone should ever say anyone deserves it and ofcourse in this case it was pretty clear the bastards were guilty and ofcourse I will always respect a no and I will never say it’s ok for any guy to have sex with a chick that’s not into it that’s not what this post is about – I get so fed up with everyone being politically correct by saying a no is always a no. Cause it ain’t. And I didn’t make the rules and I’m not even playing those games anymore.
Let me tell you about the latest mine that blew up in my face. This was on saturday when sweden was playing a qualifying match against Lichtenstein for the soccer European Championship. It was our fourth date and we went to Heron City to catch a movie and afterwards she wanted to go eat something and I named every restaurant in the vicinity and got to “O’Learys” and she said “let’s go there! they have good food there, and you can watch the soccer game”. Now I’m not that crazy about sports but I do like to see the game if sweden is playing. And this game was a slam dunk victory, Lichtenstein isn’t that good. So I would never have suggest going there cause I wanted to see the soccer game nor would I have cried had I missed it. But she wanted to go there. But ofcourse that was a trap. I should ofcourse have called a limo to take us to an italian restaurant with candlelight and all that. Which is ofcourse what I would have done had she given any clue that she liked that kind of romantic stuff… *sigh* .. next date I’m gonna make it clear that she had better be straightforward with stuff like that.
Now I’m done and gonna expect a call from my very upset mother yelling at me for saying that rape is ok… which I didn’t really say…
I never seize to be amazed at how music can make you feel, and how music can make you remember certain events and times and sometime an exact moment with all the details.
Some examples : Uncle Crackers “Follow Me” remind me of novemer/december 2001 when I had just gotten my drivers license and everytime I borrowed my dads car that song was playing on the radio. Spin Doctors “2 Princes” reminds me of a mini-marathon school event that I never ran cause of my asthma and as I was sitting in the control booth enjoying a warm sunny summer day that song thumping. Simple Minds “Don’t You Forget About Me” of the night I met “case closed” and she had no clue about the song and I knew (and was drunk enough to sing!) every word, Linkin Parks “Somewhere I Belong” about that perfect moment back in May… I could go on with like 100 songs that has that affect.
It’s really weird and there’s probably been a good psychological study on it that I’d love to read. It also really helps me doing my daily 30 minute on the exercise bike seem like 10 minutes when thumping Rammstein. Unfortunately my neightbour didn’t agree with me…
Why am I talking about that? Because I just downloaded a gigabyte or so of remixed 80’s and 90’s songs and it just got me so happy listening to them 🙂
Now a friend of mine wants me to go to the Nightwish concert in December here in Stockholm and I’m a bit undecided. Their latest CD is… weird. It’s a mix of so very many things I don’t know what to make of it… some of it sounds very much like the Metallica vs. San Fransisco orchestra concert and some of it like old viking music. But I haven’t gone to a concert in a long time. And I still can’t say no to women. So I guess I’m going…
There’s alot going on but I really don’t know how much I can say without having to face the music “in real life”. That “chapter closed” is still closed, we’re simply just not talking anymore which makes me kinda sad how something so good can end so badly. But I did manage to get another date through the web-dateing site, but she had found this place even before we first met so I’m not gonna go into details, don’t wanna ruin another one. And I “dinged” 93 kilos the other day (“dinged” is a very technical World of Warcraft term for achieving a goal), but unfortunately I’ve really slacked the past few days so gotta be careful with that. Other than that – life walking along nicely with my biggest concerns being if I should buy a new 8 gig Clix MP3 player or wait for the 16 gig Apple iTouch.
So remember that “chapter closed” comment, it had one little reservation – “anything revolutionary happening”. Well it did. For the worse. And I got so pissed of at it I was jumping around my apartment trying to let it all out. I’m surprised my knuckles are still working. No, no details. It was just … bad.
But what is good is I wook up, wasn’t as pissed but still pretty much on the dark side but by the time I got to work I was smiling and feeling “life is good”. Moby’s “Everloving” and a long outside walk to work at lunchtime will do that to you. Life is just too short to stay mad at people and carry grudges.
That comment yesterday may need explanation and if she wants one I’ll be happy to, just not here. I have no problems laying out my whole life here, but this wasn’t only my life.
But anyway!… I don’t know how I do it. I am not good at counting exactly how much money I spend, where it goes and exactly how much I have left but on any given month I have a few hundred left on the 24th (since 25th is payday). I can’t remember the last time it didn’t work out, somehow. Well guess what – it’s the 24th and I have 30 swedish crowns left and 6 hours to payday! How’s that for planning?! .. ofc it did mean taking the car to work but I’m a problem solver!
I had written an update here after I got home from a party yesterday, but after thinking about it I realised it wasn’t appropriate. I’ll just sum it up with this – I’ve never wanted a girl in her undies less than I did yesterday. Those who gets it gets it, those who don’t don’t need to.
Back when I was in college (like 13 years ago) I started a pretty bad habbit. I went to bed way too late on saturday, which meant waking up at noon on sunday which resulted in not falling asleep until 2am on sunday -> monday and up at 6 to get to school (or now “work”) and this all resulted in me hating to get up on tuesday morning since my body desperately needed to catch up on the sleep. It was a huge problem back then cause I think I missed like 7-8 tuesday lectures, which was alot considering I was only going to lectures for 3 months until I went into “forget the questions someone give me another beer”-mode. And it still plagues me. This morning I was totally considering calling in sick ’cause I had less than 0 energy. But my allegiance to my friend and collegue Peter that would’ve had a terrible day alone was too great so I dragged my ass up and onto the train. And by the time I got to Stockholm it was all normal and now after an italian lunch I so wanna go back to bed again. Am I lazy or what!?
I know this is getting old. About 10 months old. But just one more…
After 2 1/2 weeks she decided to write me back on that, and she did it with something borderlining poetry which I didn’t expect. But being the deep guy I can be I totally got what she wrote. Totally, 100%. Unfortunately for us she had gotten her pronounces mixed up because everytime she said “you” she meant “me” and when she said “me” she meant “you”. Either that or she felt exactly what I felt but thought I felt the complete opposite. Misunderstandings sux. And I’m just too tired to sort it out, and for what?
Another weird twist was that in my response to her I kinda nailed my problem all along. I can’t say I loved her (we never got that far). I’m actually not sure just how much I wanted her. But what I do know is I loved how I felt when I was with her and I would give everything for feeling what I felt at that one perfect moment back in May.
But, with reservation for anything revolutionary happening, I can finally say…
Chapter closed.
There’s not alot happening at the moment. Life goes on, throws its curve balls but nothing major at all right now. Got a relaxing weekend which is probably gonna result in me seeing 300 twice, good thing it’s a good movie! And some sweet formula one from Belgium which is always offering some surprises. And I hit 94 kilos this morning which I guess means I might as well continue until 89 (why make it even?). And as expected when I tried to get deep and talk emotions with “her” she shut down. And we’re bound to meet up again at a party next weekend so looking forward to that… or am I… oh well, gonna enjoy this rainy Friday with a beefy burger and complete apathy towards everything!
I should have learned by now – never go into something with very high expectations. I went into this weekend with very high expectations and as always got disappointed. Friday night was ok but should’ve been better, it just never kicked off, it was just mediocre. Although saturday was completey up to expectations but sunday was just awful, terrible F1 race and very boring WoW raid and today I feel a bit disappointed. So let’s go into the next weekend with no expectations at all – even if it is a F1 weekend again!
One more weekend full of plans, all of it good!
Tonight – beer & dining with some friends to celebrate a guy’s 30th birthday. Tomorrow – after the f1 qualifying going back home to my parents for a day of fun with even more beer and my mothers special cooking. And on sunday going to O’Learys to enjoy the F1 race with even more beer and their special cooking, and ending it all with an evening of WoW. I wish every weekend could be like that!
Have fun!
The downside of loosing that weight is ofc now I gotta buy alot of new clothes. And the thing is I don’t know I’m quite done loosing it, wanna hit below 90 for the first time since I was 18. I know, it’s a far fetched goal but it’s something to aim at! But today I did something I haven’t done in a long, long time. 6 years to be exact. I bought a new leather jacket. I haven’t had to buy jackets for a long time since I got alot of free stuff when I worked as a consultant. But now I had to buy one and it set me back $200 but well worth it. That almost made up for my visit to the dentist earlier today that didn’t only set me back $100 but also showed I need overhaul in there and that’s always expensive…
$10 if you know where that quote comes from 🙂
I don’t like a little bit of chaos. I get too worked up and think too much and it’s just wrong. Like if the train is 10 minutes late I’ll get worried about making it into to work and that thing I had to do first thing in the morning. But fortunately, when the shit really hits the fan I have a really good ability to just lay back and enjoy the chaos and anarchy. And today was one of those times! I got to the trainstation at my usual time, 7:15. And it was a madhouse, no trains going nowhere. So I go to the taxi stop right next to it and there are like hundred people waiting for taxis there, everyone worried about their little thing. So I get into my car instead and start driving and it’s total chaos on the roads too. Tunnels closed, alot of construction works, accidents, really everything shitty happened this morning. And there I was, sitting in the middle of it all and all I could think about was.. “I forgot to shave this morning”…
>Some people may remember I made a promise a few months ago to try to get my overweight ass down to 95 kilos from “whatever it is now” before end of my vacation. It turned out “whatever it was” was 107, so that was 12 kilos. I started mid-june and now my vacation is over with and… I just missed it… 95.5 this morning. But I’m pretty happy with that, especially considering I almost hit 120 on July 1st 2006. It’s not like I’m obsessed with it or it’s a huge problem for me but it felt pretty good. Gonna try 90 for next summer.
So how did I do it? Any special diet plan or technique, any atkins or something? … nope, plain physics. One of the most basic rules in physics is energy that can’t be created or destroyed, only converted from one form or another. So basically, if I eat 1.000 kalories in a day and don’t convert that somehow I’ll go up. So I just tipped it over – big time. Ate way too little and excercised way too much. Not the most healthy way I guess but the only way I can do it since I can’t change my life to start eating healthy food and stuff and make excercise a daily thing, it just won’t work. So I’ll just be content condensing it and doing it for a few weeks at a time.
But today… pizza hut buffet !!
It took a friend reminding me of a topic of conversation on saturday night to realise what it was that had that affect on me that I couldn’t explain. It seems we got to talking about computer gaming, one of the few things here in life where I rule, and _she_ (you all know her by now) expressed some opinions that … well, let’s just say that had a guy said it may have gotten physical. I dunno if I am way, way too analynical about stuff, but I can spend hours wondering about one little conversation, the phrasing or even one word. But yesterday as I was going over what was said and done on saturday evening… I think I don’t like her at all anymore. Which is cool considering that for the past few months I haven’t known what to feel..
Oh, pizza!!
I spent friday driving around stockholm again and chilling in my apartment with my brother and watching a few movies and playing some Playstation. A very relaxed and nerdy way to spend a friday but it was enjoyable nontheless. On saturday we went down to Nynäshamn to bowl with my sister and her kid and oddly enough on the very last series we all finished within 1 point of eachother, that’s how tight it was. Then it was off to a housewarming party at a friends place on the north-western side of stockholm, an area I’m pretty much never around. And it was a good party, not that wild and afaik nothing to be embarrassed over. (Update: apparently I had gotten a bit too physical at one point that got pretty embarrassing)
But something sure did happen and I don’t know what. I met _her_ again at the party but I pretty much knew nothing would happen this time around and it was probably all for the best but we did talk alot and I don’t know exactly about what but it must’ve been deep cause it got me depressed as hell the day after and I don’t know why?… that woman is no good for me basically. Anyway, trying to get home from that place was surprisingly easy even without a taxi but I ended up walking. 5 kilometers. At 3 am… that’s the state I was in that it seemed like a good idea at the time…
Then on sunday I crawled out of my bed at around 12-ish, walked all the way to the soffa and crashed there for 6 hours enjoying some crap movies and a pretty uneventful Formula 1 race and finished the weekend playing some WoW.
A very strange weekend for me indeed and I’m still very confused what really happened that got me depressed?…
Oh, ice cream!!
As if that “you’re losing your hair!” comment wasn’t enough to make me feel old I got one more sign that you’re getting old – “when you get the lyrics to the ‘Cheers’ theme”.