Try and remember your weirdest dream, the one where nothing made sense and just weirded you out that you’re imagination is that weird. Well that’s the feeling I got today when I was sitting in an office planning my best friends funeral. Totally surreal and bisarre. That’s not the way it’s suppose to be! I’m the one always joking about not living past 60!
Now try and remember the most awkward moment, the one when you just didn’t know what to do and what to say. Then try to imagine coming up with anything to say to this very sweet couple who just lost their only child!
Am I being too egoistic here?
My best friend is gone. The shock has subsided. I’ve accepted it. Now I’m just waiting for the real shock when I realise I haven’t heard his voice in a while, seen his face, when I haven’t exchanged any new Star Trek jokes, when the next “Enterprise” episode airs and I’ll have to watch it alone… that’s when I’m expecting the second wave… now begins the unavoidable aftermath and trying to pick up the pieces. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, the small step has been to accept it and regain some emotional equilibrium (I just threw that one in because my mother complained I couldn’t spell, and that’s a hard word to spell!). Let’s see how it goes to go back to work. I’ve already tried once, didn’t get very far.
And just to make something very clear – the countdown I’ve been having for the past two months have been for the Australian Grand Prix, the opening of the F1 2002 season. As if that has any importance anymore.
My best friend is gone. I’ve accepted it now. Even though I can’t make any sense of it.
How tha fuck do you deal with this kind of thing? I’m doing my best trying to be optimistic, and then trying to think of all the good times I had with my friend, but every time I’m hit with the thought about all the good times we never had… like another friends wedding this summer, that was gonna be a blast… shit… I know you’re not suppose to feel this way, but I keep on feeling guilty for all things I didn’t do, for all times I wasn’t with him because I was too busy doing my own thing. and then I realise how fucking egoistic that is… but.. fuck, my best friend is gone… it feels so surreal, I spoke with him on sunday evening, and now he’s gone.
Nothing more I can say to him. Nothing more I can do with him, no more beer, no more watching “Star Trek” every week, no more…
It’s so fucking sad loosing someone you know so well and you’re on the same wave-length… we could just go on laughing for hours about something weird, or be in a room and one would say “you’re all different” and the other one would reply “I’m not”.. we knew each other so well and could finish each others sentences… no more of that..
my best friend is dead…
Today I got one of the worst calls a person can receive… my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
… ???? !!!!!
…. my best friends is dead……..
Payday in Sweden. For most people anyway. Unless you didn’t know, we only get paid once a month in sweden, and most people get it on the 25th (although that depends on the company you’re working for).
Anyway, I got a real “heard of them first and got the T-shirt to prove it”-story. Guess who’s topping the charts here in Stockholm and who is played constantly on the radio and European MTV?… check my update on December 30th 🙂
5 days to go!
Things worked out even better for the ladies than I had hoped – the hockey-chicks got bronze and then Anja got the silver. So that makes the score “Women 5 – Guys 1”. But I stopped caring after the hockey game… haha 🙂 Still laughing at that game! 🙂
Less than week to go!!!
LOL! A BIG LOUD LAUGH AND A GOOD SMILE! I’m ofcourse talking about the hockey fiasco yesterday. Actually I guess I should say – THE OLYMPIC FIASCO DURING THE PAST TWO WEEKS!
Before the Olympics started, most people said “we’ll win 10 medals, easily!”. I wasn’t one of them. Then everyone kept talking how great Per Elofsson and Magda was and how they’d rule, and the swedish hockey team! We had all the NHL stars and everything was going our way. But it just wasn’t our Olympic game.
And do you know who I blame for getting me disappointed? The hockeyplayers for doing their best on a bad day? Salo, the goalie who made one mistake and one slip? NO! THE PRESS. THE MEDIA! The so called experts! Haha on them, they were all frigging wrong! I don’t think they should demand anyone to resign, if anyone should it should be them! If they hadn’t been experting all over pumping up the hopes for swedish medals I wouldn’t be disappointed now!
But as always – LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE! Swedish has 4 medals right now. One silver belonging to a no-name (actually his nams is Rickard Rickardsson, no joke!), but still, noone expected the snowboarders to get a medal. (again, the experts should resign!) But the greatest thing is – the three bronzes all came from chicks! 3/4 medals are thanx to women. Let’s just hope the swedish female hockey team can take home the glory of the bronze medal and it’ll be “Women 4 – Guys 1”. Haha, I was laughing all the way to work this morning, Belarus (or however they spell it), they had one NHL star and unfortunately the better goalie… I just love an underdog!
One week and one day left….
Just over a week left now…
Last minute preperations… here goes… if you wanna make a surprise appearence, here’s some info about the service.
Ok, so perhaps I was a bit too harsh about the Olympic opening. Sure there were good things, like Leann Rimes and ofcourse a person who holds a very special place in any “South Park”-fan’s heart – Brian Boitano!
So far, the show’s been a bit of a let-down, but that’s probably because the hockey hasn’t really begun yet!
On a completely different note, remember how much I dislike the modern music industry? Well, it seems my idol and role model Kevin Smith totally agrees with me. (or perhaps it’s the other way around?). I read a recently published article he wrote about how much he dislikes Britney Spears. And his conclusion was… obvious! (“People are into Britney Spears because they want to fuck Britney Spears”)
But although it was obvious, it still takes a man like Kevin to actually say it and to make it sound good! Check out his articles here.
Two weeks and three days to go….
So what did you think about the opening ceremony to the Olympics? I’m not sure I really wanna do this… yeah, I do: Let’s compare it to the Australian (which isn’t fair since their’s was (to quote a popular song right now) – absolutely flawless!)
When choosing who’s gonna light the fire, do you either pay homage and respect to a people you’ve opressed for centuries (like the Aussies did by having Cathy Freeman light it) or do you show off a bunch of US Olympic winners skating and walking around finally handing the torch over to a bunch of hockeyplayers saying “these are the guys that won our only Olympic gold in hockey”? That’s kinda sad considering what a great hockey nation they are!
I really wanna rip in to the opening part with the US flag and president… but I won’t out of respect for Sept. 11th. But where it ended was when the chief organizer in his speech wanted the children to grow up in a country that wanted peace and respected the human rights. Well, “peace” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about the States. And ask Amnesty just how much they like the US government. Hell, even the US president is a huge supporter of killing his own citizens. And speaking of children and human rights, have the US signed that UN resolution about children’s rights yet? Last I heard they were oposed it because it prohibited the existence of minors in the army.
And what was with having everything told in French first then in english? That better be an Olympic custom I’m not aware of, ’cause otherwise I’m gonna have to use my favorite word at the moment – “pretentious”. Btw, the concept of introducing things like that is a little rip-off from the Swedish intro to the European Song Contest 2000. Speaking of rip-offs – that cute little girl in red that grew up to be a cute little figure-skater, constantly dressed in a screaming red while the people around her wore black and white, that kinda reminds me of a movie that had a cute little girl in red that ran around in a black and white environment. Yeah, “Schindler’s List” during the Nazi’s killing of Jews in the ghetto’s. And that girl ended up dead. Thanx for reminding me. Another rip-off – at the end they played Beethoven’s 9th, my favorite. Remind you of another Olympic opening?… yeah, “Nagano”!
But comparing it to the Australian isn’t fair for one more reason – they had a huge stadium. And what was this, a little hockey arena? Seriously, I expected a lot more show from the American’s and had hoped for a lot less patriotism. Was disappointed on both accounts.
3 weeks to go. (and no, I’m not counting down to the end of the Olympics)
I recently saw an interview with Billy Joel. I haven’t really been a big fan of his, he’s done some pretty good songs over the years, but I like him more after this interview! First of all, he totally shares my opinion that the music industry is on an express elevator to hell as far as MUSIC is concerned, although the shows might be better now than they were 20 years ago, the music sure ain’t!
But what I really liked was his reply to the question “are you happy?” – “happiness is an extreme, so you can’t really be happy for an extended amount of time. But I believe being ‘content’ is underestimated”. Damn right dude! (that’s not an exact quote, I wasn’t recording it but that was essentially the point)
Btw, Sweden is (AGAIN!) the European champions in handboll. Joy!
Anyways, less than 4 weeks to go…
