This is getting rediculous! My routine now is “wake up – go to work – work my ass off – go home – start wow – go to bed – wake up…” and so on! Everything else has taken a backseat! My apartment looks like crap, my fridge is empty and my friends and family don’t even know if I’m alive half of the time since I never hear the phone and hardly ever update this place. But what can I do – WoW is way too addictive…
Tonight we were able to get the old crew from my old company together for one last supper together. Since 4 of us have been laid off and some others will try their luck elsewhere this was probably the last time we all got together like this. Although I’ll still be in touch with some of them, I doubt we’ll ever be able to do this again. Unfortunately I was on call so I had to deal with coca cola all night and I went home way too early 🙁
But here are some pics so we can all remember it 🙂
One thing that the past weeks… no, make that two years, have taught me is the joy of waking up in the morning and the first systems check shows an itch you can’t reach! I mean, if that’s the extent of your physical and psychological state when waking up, you’re doing very OK! In the past two years I’ve gone from physical highs like when I’d gotten 5 vaccination shots in preparation for my world tour to the physical low of salmonella sickness in Africa, the mental highs of sitting by the Danube with a cold beer on a hot sunny summer day to the mental low of facing long term unemployment and the ensuing almost paralyzing dyspepsia! After all of this, today I woke up and only had an itch I couldn’t reach. 🙂
Whenever I think about how close I was to being unemployed and all the shit that comes with it I can’t help but to feel like a complete asshole. I’m almost 30 and I’ve been unemployed a full 3 days since my 15th birthday. Although I’ve had a few close calls, that’s the fact. Compare that to my friend who’s been unemployed a long, long time (3 years+). And he’s got a house and family and stuff, I’ve just got me. So even though me being unemployed doesn’t sound fun at all, other’s have had it much worse. But still manage. Let’s just hope I don’t have to manage…
But today that all changed ’cause he’s finally got a job! Congrats! 🙂
Just finished my first day as a real employee at the lawfirm. And I wish I could say it was “same old, same old”. But I can’t, cause it wasn’t. After my stomach was done playing circus for 2 hours and settled down I got into it and really enjoyed myself. It’s a much better feeling actually working there than just being a hired gun. I’m just hoping it works out and it won’t only be for 6 months, because seriously – how often do you really enjoy the place you’re working at?! I was ok at my old work, but this will (hopefully) be much better!
Ok, so why was I that depressed over 2005? Well, except that my health was seriously degrading by the day I was told that I was being laid off. It wasn’t a big shock since a couple of us haven’t had anything to do at work in the past few months and it was just a matter of time until something had to be done. But all of a sudden it was there, right in front of me. A few more paid months and then I’d actually have to go to the unemployment agency. For the first time in my life. But oh no, I wouldn’t have it. As soon as I could I called The Man at the lawfirm that I’ve worked at now and then and got a job there for atleast 6 months. So for the next months I’ll be getting double pay and doing a job I know how to do in the one building with the most beautiful women in the world. Am I complaining?… not really!
Oh yeah, my health is stabilising…
So my services are no longer needed at Pulsen, the computer consultant company I’ve been working at since summer 2001. Can’t say I’m surprised since I haven’t been making alot of money for the company the past few months. And I can’t be pissed off about it since they gave me the opportunity to travel the world. But it’s still depressing!
Last friday was the annual christmas party at work. And they are usually pretty wild. I dunno, what do you think? Before you go all judgemental on me, check what’s in front of me. 3 beerglasses and 2 shotglasses and that’s just what could fit in the frame. Yeah, pretty wild and another blackjack success story. And as usual woke up on saturday saying “I’ll never drink again” ’cause lets face it, I’m not 20 anymore…
I work at your everyday computer firm, and as you know the last couple of years have been pretty tough for the biz and still is. So in an attempt to make us more profitable the powers that be have decided to re-structure us and change the way we work to make it better, leaner and meaner. And I’m all for that! As long as people don’t lose their jobs I’m all for “better, leaner and meaner”. And today we travelled down southwest to Gothenberg for the kick-off of the new and better Pulsen Integration/System. And after that, when even the bosses couldn’t make the new systems work you kinda got a bad feeling about it. And after all changes with all the hype, buzz-words and the usual abstract talking when you look at how it actually effects the day to day operations… well, it might all work out. With the new ordering systems for us consultants it all kinda depends on everyone else doing their jobs before I can do mine. Nothing against “everyone”, but I kinda liked it the all way. And when I have to submit 5 unique reports on my activites for just one day as oppose to 1 in the old system you kinda understand all doctors out their crying that they spend way to little time actually being a doctor and too much time dealing with administrative duties. Is that the price we pay for “leaner”? Maybe, but we’ll see how it works over the next few months.
Oh no, I’m getting that feeling again. And it’s not that loving feeling unfortunately, it’s the same feeling I was starting to have a year ago. That my life (atleast monday to friday) has become an endless routine of “waking up, going to work, go home, watch some TV, play some computer, go to bed” every day. And last year when I got this feeling I signed up for a “once in a lifetime!” project at work that is kinda laying low right now, but that’s starting up again in the middle of February. Until then I guess I gotta keep this routine and deviate from it as much as I can.
Now I’m getting really annoyed by spam! You know, those annoying e-mails trying to sell everything from Viagra to the Hilton sex tape. But I’m not annoyed because of the nuisance factor of getting 200 spam mails every day, I’ve got a pretty good filter so that’s no problem. No, I’m annoyed because I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone, any sane person, can ever fall for any of these e-mails! I mean, seriously, if you get a letter from some [email protected] with the topic “Instant Prescript%ion Dru[gs to your Door!” and the e-mail is a picture of a guy in a white coat and a pricelist for stuff like viagra and whatnot, why would ANYONE click it or buy anything!? I don’t get it. Obviously there are people out there who fall for it, otherwise these spammers wouldn’t keep on sending spam. So who are the people that think they can increase their penis size by buying a patch from an anonymous website?! Would you buy anything from a site like this!? Yeah, you could make these kinds of things illegal, try to develop software for it or whatever, but the real problem are stupid idiotic people who fall for these letters! I just don’t understand it… and not understanding them makes me annoyed.
I tried going back to work yesterday. I really tried to work but I simply didn’t have enough energy and even worst – motivation. What kinda illness effects you in this weird way, that you just feel apathetic, lack of interest? People keep saying “over worked” but I don’t feel over worked or stressed out. It’s weird. But for the first time (and I can always wish it’s my last time!) I’m on… sick leave. Only for a week until next examination at the hospital. So what do you do when you’re sitting at home not feeling like doing nothing at all?… Nothing I guess….
And like a month ago when Anna Lindh died, I’m not even in the country to attend a memorial or anything. Although I’m terrible at those things, I’d still like the option of attending.
And yesterday we were invited to dinner at one of the guys working here which turned out … great! Really great actually. Two of the women from the office joined us for nice little get-together in his loft (and color me jealous, that was an amazing loft!). And then things went a bit wrong when the attention was tuned to my interests and it kinda slipped out (one of these days I’m gonna have to learn how to lie to women!) that I had this place with a diary so I better watch what I write in the future. But it’s below me to change what I wrote in the past – “know what I mean, nudge nudge!?”.
Work-wise everything has gone according to plan. Some small hickups but nothing I can’t handle.
I had a pretty good feeling about this trip even before we left Stockholm. Don’t know why, I just did. And now that I’m here, now that I’ve met the people here… I’m having an even better feeling about it! The staff here is great. Not only “great” as in “hey, how ya’ doin’?”- great but as in “I can relate”-great, which there hasn’t been much of during the other trips. And the hotel is great too, but no internet so I’m not sure when this is coming online.
One thing that isn’t great is the weather! It’s between 8-15 degrees down here now. That’s not what you’d expect going south of the equator!
Puh, that was a long flight! 2+12+3 hours! Don’t recommend it! And ofcourse people pissed me off. This time it wasn’t the passengers but the airline crew trying to help. After doing this for a while I think I’ve gotten the hang of it. And at Arlanda they try to force you to use the self-service thing, even though you’ve already tried it once. And then at Frankfurt they wanna make sure you’re going to the right gate all the time. Then at the plane they wanna make sure you know where you’re sitting and everything. And so on, annoying as hell.
I’ve been home for 6 days straight now. That’s more than I’ve been in the past 2 months. And I’ve had stuff to do all the time. Sometimes a bit too much. The normal Borg-efficiency have taken over and I’ve found myself doing three things at once. And as the old saying goes – “you end up doing neither very well!”.
Considering I’m on vacation I’ve actually been surprisingly busy, everything from cleaning, washing, stopping by my parents place, catching up with some friends and stuff. And this sunday I’m off to go south of the equator again and I’ve done everything I can to get a good seat on the 15 hour flight from Frankfurt but that seems to be impossible! Lufthansa doesn’t allow you to reserve the seats at the emergency exit until you’re actually there! So I’ll probably end up somewhere not so great with no leg-space what so ever not being able to sleep. Fortunately my MP3 player can play for 17 hours without re-charging it! But I guess I shouldn’t complain, I mean how many people get to go to Argentina for 10 days for free!?
I usually don’t dream alot in my sleep. Atleast not that I can remember. But since I started on this project I’ve started to dream alot more and remembering them. Atleast for a while. And I don’t like it. I don’t like having my sleep disrupted at all! Most recently I had a weird dream that we were taking off from Arlanda in a Lufthansa Jumbojet but not having enough power to get off the ground so the pilot ditched the airplane in a field. And I, after insulting a stewardess (!?), ran back to the terminal to make sure I got on the next flight because otherwise I wouldn’t make the deadline for the new computer installation I was going to!? I don’t know if that is my subcionscious dealing with all the problems I’ve had at work or what. I do know it’s definitely telling me I’m taking my job a bit too seriously. And I’d never insult a stewardess (or whatever they wanna be called)! If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t get my sleep interrupted every 30 minutes with “do you want something to drink”, I wouldn’t get my knee hit all the time by a very robust cart, I wouldn’t have to listen to the satefy tips (let’s face it – noone knows what they’d do in an airplane free-falling 10 000 meters into the ocean! And would it matter if I knew where they lifevest was!?)… But other than that, I like stewardess’!
Wanna hear something frightening though? In about two weeks time, I’m actually boarding a Lufthansa Jumbojet flying to South America. But we’re not taking off from Arlanda so I’m not worried. I think…