Yesterday we had one of those “customer events” that I’m pretty used to from working as a consultant, but the past few times I’ve been there as a customer which is always much nicer. This time we were treated to Casino Cosmopol. We got a presentation of the company, some poker lessons (as if I needed ’em) and a posh 3 course meal (meaning I was still hungry afterwards) and then to the blackjack table and alooooot of beer and stuff. They were buying so I didn’t really notice just how much I did drink After going up 2000 and losing it again I thought I’d just call it even and go home. So there I am on the train home at 1 am with quite alot of alcohol in me and what is the absolutely worst idea at that point?… yeap, you guessed it, took up the cell and sent off a few messages. Not so bad most of them except that I had to send one to her as well! I’m such a dumb ass sometimes!! I checked the message this morning and it was a pretty good one, honest and to the point. Unfortunately, since she obviously don’t feel for me what I do for her when she read it she probably just thought “looooooser, I gotta change my number!”. So now the question do I send a retraction and joke about it or just ignore it… Oh man do I suck…
(Update: She had the humor to laugh at it :))
Today I’m gonna indulge in another vice – gambling. Got a VIP invitation to Casino Cosmopol tonight and it just might be what I need to get in a bit better mood than I am. Or it may just make it worse, who knows, I’ll just go with the “take a chance” motto and see what happens. Can’t get worse then last time…
Yesterday night at about 20:37 I hit rock bottom when I got into this whole “I’m gonna die alone” bullshit, how sad is that! And that doesn’t have much to do with this girl it was just a general depressing observation I made. The deep part is that that observation didn’t use to be depressing…. But after getting that depressed I woke up today and just said “cheer up Brian, things could be alot worse you know!”. And as if that’s not enough I got these calming words from my own personal italian guru – “be yourself and enjoy what lifes brings you, your a special person sooner or later somethin good will happen, but it will always be unexpected, stop looking for it”. Love you Dago – in a strictly heterosexual way.
Ok, I know I defnitely took that more serious than I should. After all, in her mind we were probably only “fooling around” again even though I made it clear I was after a bit more, if only just a bit – not like I was gonna ask her to move in with me or change her life. It was just a very unique feeling for me to be so close to a woman and feeling completely comfortable. Not nervous of doing or saying the wrong thing, not looking for a way out, just completely comfortable. It doesn’t happen that often and I wanted to hang on to it (yeap, singing “Somewhere I Belong” with Linkin Park). But if she feels half as much for me as I do for her I wouldn’t be writing here.
So let’s start work on getting over that… anyone have a five step plan for that btw?
Women are evil. It feels like an atom bomb went off inside me. I feel like shit. It’s not worth it.
I’m going into celibacy and I can’t even be bothered to spell it correctly.
And after yesterday’s little update I turned on the TV and saw a debate program and a documentary that showed that not even the scientists are in agreement over this whole greenhouse effect and as a matter of fact it’s totally wrong and most of them seemed to blame our beloved sun for the increased temperature. And sure it makes more sense to blame a gigantic fireball for things getting warmer rather than gasses that makes up barely a percent of out atmosphere.
But it really doesn’t take a scientist to know that millions of smoker lighting up 10 times a day is bound to result in a lot of heat, not to mentions thousands of jumbo jets flying thousands of miles. It may not be the carbon dioxide but I’m still fairly convinced it’s our own doing. ‘Cause blaming the sun sounds like giving up all hope and rolling over and play dead.
But enough negative talk – it’s Friday, it’s pay-day weekend, the weather kicks ass, we got the ice-hockey championship starting this week and I still have lots of movies and albums to listen to with my new set of speakers!
This may be getting old but I can’t help but to be amazed at how fast this has gone! I mean in the past decades everyone has become aware that we’re slowly killing this planet, but just in the past few years it’s become pretty obvious to anyone how bad it is and now it’s really bad! I invite every person saying this talk about greenhouse-effect is overhyped to come to stockholm now! Sweden is joked to have polar bears on the streets and here we are in april and it’s summer! The sun is shining, it’s 20 degrees and everyone is enjoying an afterwork beer out in the sun. This is so f*cked up. And it may be one reason why my allergies is back so damn hard after 15 years. And it’s a good argument not to have kids today – would you want your kids to inherit what we screwed up ? 🙂
Or to quote Stanley in “The Rock” – “I mean it, honey, the world is being Fed-exed to hell in a hand cart. I really believe anyone even thinking of bringing a child into the world is coldly considering an act of cruelty.”
I’ve been intending to make an update here but every time something else has come in between. But here I am… so what to type? My newly re-discovered allergies really don’t wanna go away! I can use all the tablets and cortisone-cream that the doctors can throw at me it just won’t go away. But I’m still hopeful in the “it’ll blow over”-kinda way. As a result of all this I felt a bit down and tried a bit of retail therapy and bought myself a new set of speakers. So now my little corner of the universe sounds a little bit better!! Other than that … same old same old…
Do you put much faith in horoscopes or anything describing you as a person through zodiacs? I haven’t. From a statistical point of view, if you throw in enough crap there something is bound to be accurate and it’s just been silly all along. But the other day as I was cleaning up a bit I came across one of these that was frighteningly accurate. Not only one or two things right, but everything in that very long text got it absolutely 100% dead on! And it really made my day. Unfortunately I can’t really get into details because the source reference was a “Gemini”-sheet from the Museum of Erotica in Copenhagen that I picked up a few years ago, so that would be way too much information.
Today I proved something pretty important – no matter what happens, if you have the attitude for it you can make a bad day great. I had a terrible start of the day with oversleeping a bit, train being canceled and next train being full and just a lot of things going bad. But then at around 9 I just decided that “today is gonna be a GREAT day, so there!”. And the day continued to throw one problem after another at me, including Vodafones totally incompetent support and me having gotten all the way home before I realized I’d forgotten my keys at work and had to go back in, it didn’t matter ’cause I had decided that “today was gonna be a great day”. And it was! 🙂
About a year ago when I was out to buy some clothes again I was looking at the 42″ shelf while buying pants, which was kinda embarrassing and also limited the choice of clothes I could actually buy (if I wanted to wear them that is). But after last July’s awful exercise in laziness and me almost hitting 120 kilos I spent half of august and most of September going down and I almost reached 100 before I called it quits. It just wasn’t fun and I enjoy food too much and when you’re counting the calories while exercising it’s kinda hard to enjoy a big dinner without thinking “how many hours is this on the treadmill”. And yesterday was actually the first time I’ve been out shopping clothes since then and I can now squeeze into a 38″ pants. That’s sweet 🙂
And speaking of nutritional diets and tying that in with the talk about advertisements – Delicato, who makes really good but not that nutritious snacks and cookies, are doing a major PR campaign at the moment. And the point of them all is “our food isn’t healthy”! My favorite is the one saying “Warning: May contain traces of vitamins and minerals”.
Going out to a party tonight with some of the SoulCrusher gang. It’s a warm-up to our 10 year anniversary party tomorrow. Not looking forward to Sunday…
My old saying “a person is smart but people are idiots” was proven once again today. I decided to go into Stockholm an hour earlier today to get some shopping done. I got to H&M and when I came in there was a sea of chicks there in front of me. Normally I wouldn’t complain but these weren’t the nice, gentle, fun and loving bunch of women, oh no, it was women out to get their piece of Madonnas’ new clothing collection that premiered today. I’ve never witnessed this kinda thing before, always heard jokes about it. And it was so hilarious but pathetic at the same time how people who are normally intelligent behaves like a pack of animals like this… then I walked passed the lot and had the entire male section to myself.
And the other day I had a link to a hilarious commercial. Well today I have this link which is an ad for computer developers. It’s fun in all languages but I can’t be bothered to translate it all for you, but let’s say it’s full of irony, sarcasm and jokes at computer geeks expense. All good!!
Same old same old… trying to keep my allergies and rash under control which I’m barely managing, think I may need another visit to the doctors for this soon. Had a kick ass weekend which included, but wasn’t limited to, my sister, brother and nephew pulling an all nighter on Saturday to enjoy the F1 premiere from Australia. Loved it! And tonight I’m going out with my old employer “Pulsen” but as a customer for once…
Some movie reviews ; “The Prestige” – Weird movie that was hugely disappointing and was filmed weirder than “Memento”. “Stranger Than Fiction” – I don’t know if it’s because I hit my 30’s but all of a sudden there’s a huge onslaught of movies about people asking “where is my life going?” and re-discovers themselves. Is that a sign or what? Pretty decent movie. And we finished off with “Eurotrip”. No matter what mood you’re in, that movie always works. It’s a shame it didn’t get any bigger than it was because it so totally owns.
You know I hate taking medication, right? I’m the guy that thinks twice before even taking a pill for a headache! So when I went to the doctors and got all this stuff to combat my allergies and especially that crap that I was suppose to put in when I take a bath I hated it. But now, 3 days later it’s all under control and I only had to use 2 of the 4 prescription drugs I got – very strong cortisone lotions. Didn’t need that crap in my bath fortunately…
But now, aside from a bit if itching, I’d say that’s over. If only i hadn’t waited over 2 weeks to see a doctor…
And I won another round of Scrabble. Don’t ask me how I do it cause I really don’t have a clue, I just seem to be good at it…
You know how I always say that things used to be better and I wanna relive my childhood? Well I take it all back today! A small part of my childhood was spent dealing with my allergies and stuff and bathing in some disgusting liquid that was suppose to make it all go away. I’ve surpressed most of that so it can’t have been good. Well today I went to a doctor to check up on my allergies and she wrote prescription alot of stuff including this shit I have to bathe in again. Not sure I wanna do that. I mean the allergies are annoying but not to the degree I wanna put myself though that again.
I’ve had a good run health-wise for the past 2 years ever since I got rid of that damn headache. Haven’t had much to complain about since then. Except now! About a week ago my allergies started acting up and bothered me but not too bad, it does that a little now and then. But now it’s an all out war with rash all over! Think I may have to go to the doctor and get myself a shot of cortison if it doesn’t let up soon because clarityn and lotion isn’t cutting it anymore. This was one of the reasons I didn’t go out, as was the fact I had just donated blood which means one beer has the same effect 5 has usually.
Today I donated blood. Again. For the 10th time. And when you hit that mark you get your first pin. Me so proud 🙂 Unfortunately it was a really bad day for the nurse who failed miserably at getting a good vein so my muscles are pretty sore and I’m bound to be a bit blueish tomorrow. Small price to pay I think.
And then the superficial part of me kicked in. The part of my brain I wanna turn off since it goes off on tangents with all kinds of crazy ideas and observations… don’t read on if you wanna keep on respecting me… I may very well be spoiled with all the beautiful women at work and in Stockholm, I just need to walk around the block and I’ll see atleast 10 gorgeous women… but I have yet to find the ward for beautiful women in hospitals. Seriously, where are they? Every time I’ve been to a hospital you may see a cute nurse or two but that’s it.. Why is that? Does it mean beautiful women have superior DNA and doesn’t get sick as much as the rest of us? Or is it because women aren’t that beautiful before they got their make-up on (which most of the women at hospitals haven’t bothered with)? Oh the great mysteries of life. To be continued…
Oooo, ice cream…
You know how sometimes you get so bogged up with your own issues and you check the news and realise that all your problems are small in comparison to the rest of the world.
Yesterday was the complete opposite! I chose to stay home and take care of some practical issues like changing locks and stuff in my apartment and blocking my old badges so whoever stole my jacket couldn’t get in either at work or home and all of these small things that I blow out of proportion and then I turn on the news and the biggest issue of the day was… why did Britney cut off her hair?… seriously, who the hell cares???
On friday we had one of those “pub evenings” at work, when people stay an hour or two after work, have a few beers and gets some snacks and just talk. Pretty fun stuff. After that we stayed a few hours more and played some poker, and then out and ended on O’Learys at the central train station in stockholm. Had a few beers and I started playing blackjack and everything was going swell. I won alot of money but after over an hour sitting there I had to go to the bathroom and when I came back someone had stolen my jacket. The jacket wasn’t the problem, it was my keys and my new mediaplayer (an iRiver Clix) that was in it that I’m most upset over. Right now I can’t even get to my car in the garage because the keys was in the jacket. Damnit, I hate stuff like that. Now I gotta take an afternoon off work to sort that out and then I gotta buy a new Clix for $300, not to mention a new jacket. That sucks… Careless for 5 minutes and that’s what happens…
However… if you know me you know I have a tendancy to be positive so… for some reason I didn’t have my wallet in my jacket which it is most of the time, and I didn’t have my cellphone or my commuting card in the jacket either. And I had the good fortune of having my brother there who just happened to have a spare set of keys so I could atleast get into my apartment. So… could have been worse!
Sorry, not much happening here at all. Life going on, doing my thing, contemplating life and the meaninglessness of getting up int he morning sometimes.
Not much to report…
Oh, redoing the photo gallery so it may be offline a bit. But when it comes back it’ll be better than before. I hope.