One of the best ways to attract a member of the female species is to show off wealth, preferably by buying expensive stuff. Stuff that does the same thing that stuff that cost half as much! It sounds like a very shallow thing to say, but it’s true. If I was driving around in a Ferrari wearing Gucci clothes and Rayban sunglasses I’d have a hell of an easier time getting a date! (please note that I’m differentiating between “getting a marry-able (I love making up words) woman” and “simply getting a date”).
And now it seems Debenham’s here in Stockholm is going to cash in on that idea! They are gonna have a night open only for singles! Seriously, only singles allowed! So you’ll be cruising around there like in a singles bar, only difference is that this forces you to buy those expensive stuff to show off and since there’s no alcohol involved there’s even less of a chance for people like me! (make of that what you will)
But I’m not bitter, I’ve already got a date (Date # 2) for this weekend.
How are you enjoying seeing the war unfold on your TV screens at home? I had a very weird weekend. On Friday it was Star Trek movie premiere, dinner, then bed, then on Saturday it was F1 qualifying and then… 6 hours of Sky News / CNN watching. Then off on a date, bed early then up early on Sunday to watch the F1 race. Then after that, at about 9 am, when I was tucked down in my soffa I… didn’t do anything but watch Sky News / CNN for about 12 hours! Beginning with the early seige of Umm Qasr and ending with Pentagon breifing following the POW tapes. And it really felt like this war didn’t really exist in any real place, it was just in my TV! Really weird feelings. But it was happening, like that POW tape showed. The two funniest incidents all day was after the morning seige when they interviewed Nick Lerma, the big-ass seargent with plenty of toys. Testosterone squared! Then seeing some Iraqi soldiers hunting two imaginary downed allied airman in the shores of Baghdad. It shouldn’t be funny, it was a blatent disregard of the Geneva convention about the treatment of POW’s, but it was funny seeing them go on for two hours while seeing the “No coalition airplanes missing!” sign at the bottom. And it kinda reminded me about “Allo, allo” with the search for the missing british airmen 🙂
But with that tape on the evening it all ended with a big downer. Once again disregarding Geneva conventions about POW’s but it was really… sad seeing these totally lost techs who just took a wrong turn… and it was something emotional about this one quote:
I didn’t come here to shoot, I came here to fix things.
Here’s hoping it ends well…
Warning : This update will be one of the deepest ones all year.
About a year ago (April 3rd) I made an update about me and my so called brother not getting along. This seems to be a recurring theme between us, every now and then we just get upset at each other, then after a week or so it’s business as usual. But now it appears it’s over.
The reason that “so called brother” is there is because he’s not really related to me at all, but it’s been kinda “brother I never had” thing there. But the big difference between being “so called” and actually being related is that with relatives you a) have no choice but to forgive and forget and b) you have almost an infinite amount of patience. But he’s not really related to my, so in this instance my patience has totally run out. My source of forgiveness is depleted. No matter how much you get along with someone, no matter how fun you can have at times, is it really worth it when most of the time you’re disappointed, feel ignored and taken for granted? The most recent incident was 2 weeks ago when we had agreed he’d come over to my place on the friday, we’d do the usual “watch a movie, grab a pizza, play some games”-guy stuff, he’d stay over and then we’d go out to my parent’s place over the saturday/sunday and do the usual family-thing there and watch the F1 premiere. Sounds like the greatest weekend, so I warm it up by taking friday off from work to enjoy it even more. Come friday afternoon he let’s me know he’s going out on a date with this chick so he might be late. That’s always an acceptable excuse to change plans so fine. At 8 he let’s me know that his date is over but he’s gonna stay a while and party but he’ll be up later. At around 11 he decides that “nah, I’ll skip it, c ya tomorrow”. So there I was, sitting alone in my apartment on a friday night, pretty disappointed. But even worse was that my (real) sis AC had to take the train home – ALONE – after a friday
night in Stockholm. She wanted to crash at my place, but there wasn’t suppose to be room so she took the train. Alone. Which didn’t please her hubby Paul. When I tried telling my intoxicated friend that his decision to just change the plans and the consequences that he didn’t think about, knew or maybe even ignored. As usual he can’t take any criticism and said “fine, I’m not coming out this weekend at all!” , as if to punish me. At the time I was so pissed at him it was a blessing for both of us that we weren’t gonna see each other the day after. And if he did it to punish me, it must have meant that he didn’t really want to do it, he just agreed to it to please me? (which sounds like a good thing, but it really isn’t nice to pretend to want to do something, or like something, only to please someone else!) And it again proved my point that he didn’t really think his spontaneous decisions through because by not coming out to my parents he made everyone, my mother, my father, my sister and her sons disappointed.
They were looking forward to meeting him again, they had even bought his favorite alcoholic drink. But to punish me he wasn’t gonna go. I thought this was just a spontaneous outburst that was a bit influenced by the consumed alcohol and come saturday I pretended like that last thing was never said. But he totally ignored me and wouldn’t reply to my SMS’s, no matter how provocative they were (and that last one should’ve made anyone reply “you sick as****e!”). So fine, I’m way more immature and hence better at the “silent treatment” than he is. Now, two weeks have passed. And guess what… I hadn’t noticed his absence. That tells me I was used to not talking to him that much in the first place. Maybe later I’ll start missing him, missing going to the TG Lan party that I was looking forward to or something. But for now… hadn’t noticed…
I’m not gonna be so self diluted as to think that I was the most important thing in his life or that I had any priority over anything else in his life. He had a date with a chick, great! I encourage that totally! He felt like going out with his friends in Södertälje, fine! Although I don’t understand how partying in Södertälje is possible, but fine. I would have been totally ok with him calling me on thursday saying “let’s totally skip everything, I got other plans!” – fine! And if it had been once in a month thing – fine! But for the past two years it’s become more frequent that he just skipped some plans we’d made up for something else that had come in the way. But the worst part is that most of the time he’d never let you know. I’d go on my merry way thinking we were gonna meet somewhere and do something, then have to call him and check why he’s not there and find out he changed his plans. That’s f*cking annoying. And I know that my circle of friends is pretty limited right now, but what’s the point of having a friend out of habbit if all that happens is that you get disappointed, upset and hurt?! And everytime you try to tell him how you feel he just get mad, angry and yells the meanest thing he can think off.
So right now, that’s pretty off. But as I said, it seems to be a recurring theme for us to do this. Right now I figure the ball is in his court. I can’t change who I am, I can’t change that I don’t like the way he is sometimes…
I wonder if this place, the world, would be a better place if everyone started telling the truth and be honest all the time. Or maybe even for a day? Would the world be a better place? I seriously doubt it. As a matter of fact, I think it’d be chaos. Total chaos. Politics aside (lying /exaggerating/spinning is a part of politics!), just everyday life would be impossible. If I were to say what I was thinking I’d probably be out of a job, not to mention sued for “sexual harassment” (as I understand it, even telling a woman she’s the sexiest you’ve ever seen with your own eyes can be labelled as “sexual harassment” (and I work at a lawfirm right now so I’m not gonna push it). As I was writing this a friend of mine sent over a link to a pretty interesting list. “Things guys wish girls knew“.
There is one or two things there that I don’t fully agree with (like # 26), but it’s a pretty interesting list. And if you think about it, what IF girls knew all those things? Would relationships be easier or would they just find other enigmatic things to argue over? Don’t ask me though, I haven’t been in a man-woman relationship for over a year. But who knows after this weekend…
I just read something that … well, in all honestly I shouldn’t be surprised… but I was… go over to CNN and read this… I’m at a loss for words…
I just read in the paper that the very pregnant Catherine Zeta Jones is going to have an ambulance standing by outside ready to go during the Oscars. And they called it “diva-like” behavior. That, combined with what I was talking about yesterday, made me think – do rich and successful people get more eccentric when they become rich and successful, or does it just show much more do to the increase of resources they can put into it? Or are they just normal people, with normal behavior, that is just blown out of proportion by the media? In this specific case I think it’s #2. ‘Cause any normal parent in the world, human or any other animal, would use all their resources to protect their offspring. If that means fighting off a wolfpack or paying to have a private ambulance stand by just in case, the basic animal instinct is still the same, to protect the offspring. But that’s just in this case ofcourse, then we have J-Lo’s weird obession with white-ness that is just beyond me…
I know I’ve been avoiding the biggest world issue today by totally ignoring the Iraq-issue. But I’m actually not sure on which side I’m on – pro or con. The pacifist in me says it’s wrong, war only leads to death & misery and there’s gotta be another way. The anti-Bush in me says that’s it’s partially his fault, he’s painted himself in a very tight corner so he can’t NOT go to war. Then we have the fair-player inside me that hates what Saddam is doing, pushing the limit of what he can get away with and playing everyone against the states and cooperating at the very last minute and b.s like that. But going along my rule of conduct that “Don’t expect anything from someone else you can’t deliver yourself” I’m almost on the side of Iraq. ‘Cause think about it, what has Saddam done that the US hasn’t?
They are supporting terrorist. Probably, but so did the US during the Soviet vs. Afghanistan war, as well as Iraq vs. Iran war and they’re still supporting the anti-Saddam rebels in Iraq.
He’s killing his own citizens. True, but so does US only they call it “capital punishment” and Bush is a big supporter of that. They try to develop nuclear weapons. So did the US 50 years ago.
They have weapons of mass-destruction. The US has the biggest arsenal of them all! They refuse to inventory their weapons arsenal and cooperate with the arms inspectors. And exactly what would the US say if someone tried to inventory their arsenal? Iraq isn’t cooperating with the UN. Neither is the US right now, and have they yet paid off their huge debt to the UN? Have they signed on the UNICEF resolution about children’s rights?
So I really think they should be trying to solve their own problems instead of trying to start a war noone wants and they can’t afford. But that’s just me.
Another thing I’m getting quite tired of are the constant updates about how the swedish hockeyplayers are doing in the NHL league! I like hockey, it’s one of the very few sports that I actually follow. And we have our “elite series” here in sweden, and if some player has a great season he’s bought and transferred to NHL. You may call that a sell-out or whatever, I really couldn’t care less about that. But what I do care about is when the first thing they do in the mornings sports news is reporting how many points each swedish players in the NHL league scored (if any). I really couldn’t care less about how many assists Forsberg got, or if Markus Näslund is the top scorer in NHL! Either I am not patriotical (that is actually a word!) enough, or perhaps I just don’t see the point of it? I think the top news today, especially in hockey, should have been which teams managed to advance to the playoffs in the swedish elite series, but that’s just me.
Payday here in sweden again. And that’s usually something to look forward to. Because for one day, or maybe even a week, you feel almost rich. Then all bills are paid and you’re snapped back into reality again.
But this payday is one I have been dreading. February 25th… a day that will live in infamy for me and my friends. Because it’s exactly a year now since my best friend passed away. It’s a year and two days since I was egoistical enough to go to a dinner at Fridays when my friend really needed me at home. It’s a year ago… and I have the same feelings I had 6 months ago – first a sense of “is that all” followed by a “it feels like yesterday”. ‘Cause it does, I can still remember those weeks as if it were yesterday. And this afternoon we’re suppose to have a meeting back at work, but I really can’t work up the effort to go there, I feel like handling it the pathetic way – go to the nearest bar and have a couple of beers.
As you may know I’ve come to hate… loath… reality shows, or docusoaps. I’m so totally tired of them. But keeping up my “like to be proven wrong”-theme I gave another show a chance to prove me wrong. “Joe Millionaire”. The very talked about show in the states that took a $19.000/year construction worker and turned him into Mr Slick that had just inherited $50 million and was looking for a woman to share his life and money with. At first I thought it sounded really unfair to the chicks who thought they’d hit the jackpot, only for the guy to tell them “hey, I’ve got no money” but after seeing two episodes… shit, those girls seem to deserve it. You may have picked up on the fact I love women, but in this show they’ve really been able to bring out the worst in them. All the back-stabbing, catfights and “does my ass look big” was there. I ended up hating every one of them… except one, but that’s because I have a thing for chicks in charge… And then Jay Leno proved once again why I never watch his show (except when I zap through the channels). He compared the “sorry babe, I’m actually not rich” to the reversed role for a woman to tell a guy “sorry, these breasts aren’t real”. I mean, common?
I’m certainly not one for breast size, and I’m very confident no other guy anywhere has ever fallen in love with any woman because of her breasts! Although I’m not sure how many women have fallen in love with a guy’s money either, but I still didn’t like the comparison! I guess because both of them makes us sound primitive and goes back to the old animal instincts inside everyone – “a female is looking for a male that can provide for her and her offspring” and “a male is looking for a female who can nurture his offspring”. Oh well, I’ve never been one for animal instincts, I’m totally defying the instinct for breeding!
After the recent days of soul-searching I realized that there are alot of fundamental things I preach that I actually do exercise as well. The three most important ones are :
1) respect for other people, other religions and other opinions. Some people have mistaken some points that I’ve been making when discussing things that they think I’m a racist and/or immigrant-hater. But I’m not, and every time that happens I have to point out that my mother is an immigrant. And when I started working at a fast-food joint (Clock) when I was 15 at least 50% of the people I was working with were immigrants. So if I was a racist, I’d be one lonely loser!
2) Protecting the freedom of speech. Although there aren’t that much I can really do about that, and it does go hand in hand with point #1. Yesterday I saw a little VH1 special featuring “Madonna’s Greatest TV Moments”, and it featured some people who had a lot of problems with some of her videos (like “Erotica” and “Like a Prayer”) and how immoral she was. I dunno about you, but that’s one thing I’ve always liked about her. Not that she’s immoral, but that she does what she does regardless and is allowed to.
3) Appreciating the moments. The people that work with me are probably laughing as they read that because I’ve become quite the little effectiveness-specialist (Borg-like!). But that’s at work, and even then I can take a little pause to enjoy a moment. But even if I’m stuck in a traffic jam or interrupted at home watching a movie by a black-out, I’m still able to make the most of it. And oh, I still don’t have a watch 🙂
You mind if I go really deep here for a while?… I don’t live like I preach. In my conscious mind I’m this reckless, “let’s go for it”, “take a chance”, “you only live once” and “what’s the worst that could happen” kind of person. If you ever ask my advice you’re bound to get either of those quotes. And I like it. But I don’t live by it myself. I’m way too boring, predictable, routiny (no, that’s not a word) kind of person who takes the safe route, who doesn’t upset the status quo. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to face it, that’s who I am. I wanna change it, my mind wants to but I really can’t.
I’m one of those people who can take, and actually appreciate, being proven wrong. I don’t know if it’s because of my “I have to constantly learn/discover new things”-drive or what. Most recently it was UIP who proved me wrong! UIP is a movie distribution company here in Sweden. They distribute movies for Paramount amongst other. And Paramount make the Star Trek movies. So we have to be friends with UIP. And last weekend we got a preview screening of the new Star Trek movie, “Nemesis”. That was a pretty nice surprise, but what wasn’t such a nice surprise was the bad quality of the translation in the subtitles. It was pretty obvious that guy wasn’t a trekker. So we complained about it, but so what – what’s done is done, right?… wrong! They invited 3 of us to come to their office and go through the movie and correct everything we felt was wrong and to suggest what should be there instead. I never thought they’d do something like this, I was under the impression that that kind of thing didn’t happen… “re-subtitle a movie just because the die hard fans don’t like it”… but it did. Now of course they have to live up to the challenge and actually change it before the real premiere.
Another nice surprise I got, this one also in the realm of flexibility, was when I was putting together a server for one of our customers. I’ve been tinkering inside computers for about 13 years now, and there are some facts you just have to accept – changing/adding CPU’s is a mess, changing/adding power supplies is a mess and putting in hard drives is easier said than done. The computer manufacturers have put in a lot of work to make it easier for us, but I’ve never been impressed by it. Until yesterday when I was putting this HP/Compaq 380 server together. I was suppose to add a secondary CPU, add a redudant power supply, insert 3 extra fans and put in 5 hard drives. Guess how long that took?… less than 15 minutes. And everything worked right off the bat. So I guess I owe a big thank you to some engineers at HP/Compaq for thinking a couple of extra steps – nice!
Do teeth have a mind of their own? I think mine does! I haven’t been to the dentist in about two years quite simply because I haven’t felt anything wrong in that department for a long long time. And teeth are kinda like my job – the less it’s noticed the better. But last thursday I got a mail from the dentist saying “time for a check up!” and I just shrugged it off with “nah, my teeth are fine!”… then on saturday as I was eating candy while watching “Star Trek : Nemisis” all of a sudden I got that annoying feeling you get when you have cavity. And it won’t go away, so I guess I’ll have to take her up on her offer and go for an examination, I just think it’s real weird timing, it’s like… they felt neglected! And so much for getting my economy back in order…
No, I’m not depressed, stop saying that (3 people have already!)! What do I have to be depressed about, I’m doing pretty fine. I’ve got my health, a steady job, my economy is almost under control and I’m not going through any heartache. That’s more than any of my friends can say (I’m a dangerous person to know). But me – I’m doing alright. Although my mother would fill in “but you’re still single, on Valentine’s day!!”.
But you know what? No biggy for me, I’m quite used to it. ‘Cause now that I think about it, I’ve only been in one relationship that coincided with Valentine’s. Ok, 1 1/2 but that’s a completely different story!
And about that Jewel video – I know I’ve said that music should be music and not videos, and her music is great, and that track was pretty good. But I just couldn’t help but to be disappointed over it because every video with Jewel have been… different, odd and deep in ways I probably don’t understand, but this one??? Rolling around in bed in her underwear? Seen it, been there, done that…
One week and two days later, and what goodness do I have to report about? Not much, but here goes ; My female best friend’s husband and daughter was involved in a serious car crash (that ended with them upside down), but doesn’t have anything to show for it except a wrecked car. I’m not sure if that is bad or good news, but since they’re OK I’ll file it under “good”. My american buddies are coming back to town tomorrow. This is surprising since it means they have been here 4 times in the past 12 months, and I haven’t been over there once during the 6 years I’ve known them! And I can still be surprised by small little restaurants that serve great food (“Asperia” in southern stockholm, great Greek restaurant). So that’s something to be glad over, right?
Compare that against ; two good friends are getting divorced (from eachother!), two really good friends are still unemployed, another friend with some bad news I can’t talk about but it got me depressed, losing a space shuttle and the world is on the verge of war again. And on top of that – Jewel’s latest video was more like a “Victoria’s Secret” ad than an inspirational video! Yippi I’m so happy.
SHIT! It seems that the more I write here that things are going to hell the worse it seems to get! Seriously, 2003 is now officially just as bad as 2002, and it’s only Feb. 4th! So here’s a promise – I won’t write any more updates until I have something great, wonderful, beautiful, funny or just nice to share with you and let’s see how long it takes! (and no, sweden winning the Swedish Hockey Games doesn’t count!)
My sister, who is content staying here on Earth, was questioning why I got so depressed over this Columbia thing. She means that if I got that depressed over 7 people dying in this accident, I should be suicidal when children are dying all over the world for one reason or another. Why don’t I get depressed over that? The austronauts atleast knew the risk of doing what they were doing and had accepted them. The innocent children dying a little all over the world didn’t. And I can’t argue against that. But somehow this just felt worse. I felt really bad. Just think about it – now “we” only have three shuttles to take care of the rest of the IIS building, and if there’s any chance of building a vessel to go to Mars it’ll have to be built in orbit, and with just three shuttles that’ll take a while.
So with the risk of sounding a bit cold-hearted – it’s more the setback to the exploration of space that I was being depressed about, not so much the 7 astronauts.
“If we die we want people to accept it. We’re in a risky business,and we hope that if anything happens to us it will not delay the program.The conquest of space is worth the risk of life.”– Gus Grissom, killed in an accidental fire in Apollo 1, January 1967
I was wrong. 2003 is shaping up to be just as bad as 2002. Not only did Sweden screw up in the handball championship, and not only have two friends of mine divorced, now “we’ve” lost a space shuttle with all hands lost – Rick Husband, William McCool, Kalpana Chawla, Michael Andersson, David Brown, Laurel Clark & Ilan Ramon. What I mean by “we” is all of us who are very interested and enthusiastic about the space exploration program. “We” who have to convince everyone that it’s still a worthy cause. So I wonder what February has in store…