I’ve finally upgraded my image gallery and imported it into WordPress with a cool addon. Took me about 3 days of work to get it sorted and adding comments and stuff but it’s been fun going down that memory lane again.
Here are some of my favorite galleries:
As usual the password what the company I work at is know as in Sweden.
Yesterday I finally got in the “Star Trek Online” beta! It’s an online roleplaying game in the Star Trek universe. And being a huge trekker and huge Warcraft geek I think I’ll like it. So far I love it! Some parts of the game feels like being in one of the episodes, really well made. Although it’s almost more than what my graphic card can handle!
When creating a character you have to chose name, which was relatively easy. Then you have to name your ship. Which was easier ’cause my first thought went to my best friend Eden who passed away almost 8 years ago. So if you’re in the game and see a ship named USS Eden pass by, that’ll be me 🙂
Since every other site is summoning up the past ten years I thought I’d do the same. Because the past ten years have been completely revolutionary in most ways for me.
10 years ago I was just settling into my rental apartment in south of stockholm, never having set foot in the northern parts of Stockholm. Didn’t have a drivers license, worked at the “customization” department at a computer retailer, didn’t have a girlfriend or even any prospects and was rarely going outside the Stockholm region.
Then I got promoted, lost my job, got a new job, got my drivers license, got to travel the world for the state department, got laid off again and got a job at a former customer. And that was just in the first five years. But then I got so comfortable that I have really no reason to look for any other job!
In 2005 I had my 30 year crisis and was slowly realizing that you really need someone to share your ups and cheer you up in your downs. But it wasnt until 2006 that I really understood just how much I needed that and after “playing the field” for 2 years I was almost ready to give up when I was contacted by Helena through an internet dating site and I realised quickly she was something special! We met for the first time 3/3 in 2008 and by September I was moving in with her. Then in April we signed the papers to have a house built and in June when the house was being built we found out we were pregnant.
So now, 10 years after, I’m living in my own house (north of Stockholm!), have a good job, good friends, awesome fiance and in 7-8 weeks I’m gonna be a dad. So except for still going to “Star Trek” events, watching Formula 1 and playing computer games nothing in my life today is as it was 10 years ago.
Overall the past 10 years have been very good to me. Except one huge thing. 10 years ago my best friend was Eden. I loved that guy and for who he was. In February 2002 he died only 32 years old. That was a huge bummer but taught me a little bit about appreciating live. Still find myself thinking about him.
And now for a very adult comment – I really hope the next 10 years is way less eventful! I don’t want to move and don’t want to lose my job and I don’t want to lose anymore friends. 🙂
Have a great 2010 everyone!
It almost slipped my mind. But only almost. Yesterday was pretty hectic so I didn’t have much time to stop and think. But when I finally went to bed at 11 and did my “think about the day” I realised what day it was. 2 years… 2 years ago that I lost my best friend. 2 years ago that I was taught the real meaning of “you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it”. 2 years ago that my world was turned upside down. 2 years… it feels like an eternity.
Payday here in sweden again. And that’s usually something to look forward to. Because for one day, or maybe even a week, you feel almost rich. Then all bills are paid and you’re snapped back into reality again.
But this payday is one I have been dreading. February 25th… a day that will live in infamy for me and my friends. Because it’s exactly a year now since my best friend passed away. It’s a year and two days since I was egoistical enough to go to a dinner at Fridays when my friend really needed me at home. It’s a year ago… and I have the same feelings I had 6 months ago – first a sense of “is that all” followed by a “it feels like yesterday”. ‘Cause it does, I can still remember those weeks as if it were yesterday. And this afternoon we’re suppose to have a meeting back at work, but I really can’t work up the effort to go there, I feel like handling it the pathetic way – go to the nearest bar and have a couple of beers.
This may come off as a bit cold or just asshole-like, but am I the only one who’s tired of all dedications / memorials and stuff that’s gone on over the past year? It seems that when someone, especially if they are famous, dies it has to be made into something huge and special. Two great recent examples of that is Aaliyah and Lisa ‘Lefteye’ Lopez. Both made decent music and they may both have been good people, but with all stuff that’s been done in the media (like the recent MTV VMA dedication to Lopez) you’d think they were up for some saint-status or something.
And then ofcourse there is all the 9/11 (which by the way, we swedes would write 11/9). Naturually it was a terrible event and a huge loss of life, completely over the top and I in no way condone what happened. But why was I asked to hold a minute of silence last wednesday? Anton, a friend at work, got really upset, borderlining mad over this entire thing. At first I thought he was overreacting, but at the end of the day, with all the hype in non-american media, you’d think it was the biggest disaster that ever happened and that the world “owes” america (especially their government) something?! Wtf is all that about? Ofcourse I feel sorry for what happened and to the people who lost a loved one, but it has in absolutely no way affected me or my life, so why should I feel anything about that entire thing? Let’s reverse it – can any one american say why we swedes should hold a silent moment or two next saturday (Sept. 28th)? I’m pretty sure not a single one of them can, because why are they suppose to know that is the date when Estonia sank! Which, if you’ll excuse the cold Vulcan part of me, was atleast 10 times worse, percentage-wise, for sweden than 9/11 was for US of A. “But Estonia was not an act of terrorism against civilian targets” you may say. True, but the Estonia disaster was a random event that killed about a thousand people, which I consider a far worse human disaster than some misguided terrorist who’s been fooled into thinking that USA is the devil. But from their perspective, just how wrong are they? I’m not gonna try and justify what they did, but lets face it, USA has a huge tendancy to play cop in the world. And as long as they have the UN support, that’s fine with me. But I can atleast understand why the islam world are getting upset when the US government is demanding that Yasir Araft be replaced by someone more US friendly!
I, myself, am pretty US friendly when it comes to the people, it’s just their government I object to.
“Dude, if you’re so against it why do you have a memorial for Eden!”. That’s different. That was a personal tragedy for me that I dealt with in this way. I have never ever asked anyone to feel sorry for me or a minute of silence for him. Not even when the 6 month mark came and went did I tell anyone! And it’s not like I’m doing a huge thing about it either, it’s there, read it of you want to. Or not.
August 25th, you know what that means? 6 months since I suddenly lost my best friend. My spontaneous reaction was “is that all?”, it feels like ages ago since I last spoke to him. Since we shared some jokes, watched movies together, just sat down at a bar testing new beers and stuff. But at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday that this entire thing happened. I remember those weeks as if it was yesterday…
So how have life proceeded since then? Pretty well I think. Although I did suddenly realise that alot of my life has been converted to routines and procedures. Like I’m just going through day by day waiting for something to happen. And I don’t like that. So I’ll see what I can do to change it. And I still find myself thinking “I gotta tell Eden about this” when I stumble on something new I know he would’ve liked. Guess that’ll have to wait until we meet again in Sto Vo Kor.
I’ve finally got some motivation and inspiration (translate – “Kris found a good, nice and easily adaptable design that he’s gonna steal”) to start on a new design for the pretty low-key’d site. Also working on a little memorial for my friend. Hey, we all deal with this our way!
Just got my web-statistics report. I’ve had about 500 people checking in on this page daily since February 25th. Thanx everyone!
Here are some pictures from the most beautiful, but also the worst, funeral I’ve ever been too:
Pic # 1 : Picture with everything in it. (including my stereo 🙁 )
Pic # 2 : Picture with everything in it. (including Eva 🙂 )
Pic # 3 : Close up of two of the most frequent Eden attires – his hat and custom made jacket.
Pic # 4 : Close up of a “Galaxy-class” model. That was his alias on the web, Galaxy-class
Pic # 5 : Close up of the Spock action figure I mentioned in the eulogy.
Pic # 6 : Picture fromt the side.
Pic # 7 : Picture from the reversed side post-service.
Pic # 8 : I don’t know if this is something pilots do every day over this cemetary (the biggest one I’ve ever seen) or if it was specially ordered today, but it was a nice touch.
That was my eulogy to my best friend Eden. Or rather how it was written, approved and memorized. Unfortunately I tense up when speaking in front of a crowd. Add to that a very near outburst of tears and I’m bound to miss a few things here and there. But I’m pretty sure everyone agrees that it wasn’t what I said, it was the fact that I got up to say something.
So there is no doubt in my mind that I’m a better and happier person today thanks to him, and it’s with a smile on my face that I think
about him and the time I got to spend with him, the incredible original that he was. And noone can ever forget him because he made an impression on everyone he met or talked to. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but he always made a lasting impression.
Wanna hear a bad joke? “What is the one event you don’t want a front-row seat to?” – “A funeral”.
I’ve found that the best way to deal with this is humor. Anyway, somehow I wound up as the person responsible for giving a eulogy for my friends funeral. Is that heavy or what, and not in a good way!
As promised, here is a page explaining how I’d want my funeral to be like, as well as some notes about “who gets what”.
Don’t think I’m suicidal or anything, it’s just that I don’t want anyone to have to go through what we’ve gone through in the last week. So to spare some practical problems, here are my wishes.
(yes, I know I should print and sign it to make it legally binding, but I’m trusting everyone will get along without contesting anything)